The Resident // Harry Styles H.S.

17

I collected myself, checked the bathroom for evidence, and walked out. I felt guilty even looking Bonnie in the eye. She was the closest thing Janel had to a mom, and I had just had my di.ck in her "daughter's" mouth. My di.ck being the first EVER di.ck in her mouth, to make matters worse.

I absolutely hated myself right now.

I walked into the living room and was relieved that Janel had changed her pajama shorts into real shorts and a thicker tank top. I should have probably put a shirt on before I came out, but I could barely think.

I looked up at Bonnie, and she looked over at me.

"Harry! Hi honey! I was just telling Janel I came to drop off a few groceries. It was a good excuse to come visit. I was bored, and thinking of you guys. The kids are away at friends' houses, and......Harry? Are you ok dear?" she stopped her story. Sh.it. She noticed the guilt on my face. She noticed that I couldn't quite look at her. Or maybe she noticed the tears that were fighting to take over in my eyes.

"Harry?" she walked over to me quickly, putting her purse down on the way.

Janel looked at me, and her mouth dropped open. She took the grocery bags, and rushed into the kitchen silently. Fvck. Fvcking GREAT. Now I scared her. She's probably scared shi.tless right now, wondering what's wrong with me. Thinking I'm pi.ssed off at her for what happened.

But I'm NOT pi.ssed at her. I'm really not.

I'm pi.ssed at myself. I have no fvcking  self control. I'm suprised I didn't just fvck her right there up against the bathroom wall. What stopped me? I don't even know. I know I pictured that exact scenario as I rushed in and grabbed her and kissed her. That's exactly what I pictured doing. Even though I knew I wasn't going to.....

"Harry honey....what's wrong? Are you ok? Did you just wake up? You look horrible! Talk to me! I've never seen you like this!" Bonnie begged for me to say SOMETHING. Anything.

But I couldn't. I couldn't open my mouth, because everytime I tried, the tears rushed up into my eyes.

She took my hands. My guilty hands. My hands with fingers that probably still smelled a little like Janel's...private area. I wanted her to let go of them. They were guilty hands. Hands that had been all over Janel's body.....hands that jerked my di.ck, just barely missing Janel's face when I came....

Bonnie looked at me, and must have seen my eyes welling up. I was losing the fight with the tears now, the more guilty images that came flooding back to me. The images were so fvcking wonderful, though! It had been WONDERFUL! The entire day. Every touch. Every kiss. Everything we did. It had never felt so good. So inTENSE before, with anyone.

What the hell is WRONG with me???

Bonnie took a long look at me, and pulled me into a hug.

I hugged her back. It felt good having a hug that didn't turn me on. That didn't give me a raging hard on. Just an innocent, normal, caring HUG.

It seriously felt good.

And I seriously felt like bloody HELL.

Of course, she hugged me in such a motherly way, I couldn't hold it in anymore.

I totally lost it. Right there on her shoulder. The tears came pouring out, and I started sobbing.

"Oh Harry.......Harry........whatever is the matter, honey? I wish you'd tell me. You're scaring me! Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be ok." she rubbed my back and held me tight. "Harry Harry Harry.....it's ok.....let it out, honey. Let it allllll out."

I sobbed onto her shoulder, and cried like a big baby.

I looked up once, and saw Janel in the kitchen doorway, leaning against the doorframe, sitting on the floor, her face down into her legs, which her arms were hugging.