Major Arcana: sex, love, and Tarot

Chapter 7: The Tower

All told it took almost two minutes. Rosemary, a bus commuter, knew how precious those minutes were. She felt torn between annoyance that it took so damn long, shame at feeling so annoyed, and mild embarrassment that other people had been staring at them, watching her and Fabricio get on the bus. All sense of anonymity was gone. They were a spectacle. And, worse, she knew how it felt to be on the observing end. How many times had she stared (discreetly), as a wheelchair-bound person entered the bus? How many times had she felt irritation at the time it took to get them settled? And now that he's with me, I'm the one embarrassed about it? What the hell is wrong with you, Rosemary?

Their bus ride was only five minutes long, before they pulled into their stop and repeated the lengthy process to get Fabricio off. Rosemary felt distinctly on edge as they entered the restaurant and ordered their pizza slices. She had the feeling this night was going to end unpleasantly. The Tower weighed on her mind, adding to her stress.

"What's wrong, Rosemary?" Fabricio asked, just as he was lifting his second slice of pizza. He ate with the insatiable appetite of a college-aged guy. Already his first piece was long gone, and four more sat on his plate, awaiting their turn to be devoured. "You seem quiet tonight."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just..." Rosemary paused, sighed, and shook her head. She didn't want to do this. But she couldn't go on otherwise. It would be dishonest, to give this kid hope for something more, when all she could think about was Josh's broad smile, Josh's growly bedroom voice, Josh's hard cock...

"I'm seeing someone else," she blurted.

Fabricio's pizza stopped halfway to his mouth. His eyes snapped to hers, searching. She didn't say anything, but he must have found the answer in her gaze. Fabricio slowly took his bite of pizza, chewed, swallowed, wiped his mouth on a paper napkin.

"Okay," he said simply.

For some reason, this response annoyed Rosemary. How can he just sit there, eating? Isn't he going to say anything? To fight for me? Or chew me out? Or... say something?

"What do you mean, 'okay?'"

"I mean it's okay." He shrugged. "We never agreed to be exclusive. Actually, I recall you carefully avoiding the idea that 'hanging out' might actually be a 'date.' I get it; I'm in college. I know what hanging out means. It means waiting around for something better."

"But..."

"Look, Rosemary," he tossed the pizza crust back onto the plate with a sharp gesture. Despite his calm words, she could tell he was agitated. His eyes were bright with emotion. If she knew him better, she might have identified it as pain. "I like you, okay? I would be totally over the moon if you agreed to date me. No man on Earth would ever treat you better, or care about you more, than I would. But you're not into me. I'm man enough to deal with it."

Angrily he picked up a slice of pepperoni and tore into it. He chewed savagely, attacking the pizza with such ferocity Rosemary almost felt a little scared.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

He scoffed, still mid-bite.

"Just tell me it isn't for the obvious reason," he growled. He didn't have to gesture to the wheelchair to make his meaning clear.

"It's not! Really! I mean, I do think about that, but it's not the reason." At least, I don't think so. Oh, god, am I just an awful person? Look how much I've hurt him!

"What is the reason, then?"

This was the hard part. In truth, there was no reason. Fabricio was a fantastic guy, the kind of man a woman could spend her whole life with. In her heart – and in her head – Rosemary could find no concrete reason not to give it a try. Besides the obvious one, as he'd said. And Rosemary was not willing to think she was the kind of person who would let a physical disability affect her relationship decisions. At least, not yet... she couldn't think about herself that way, yet.

"Fabricio, how old are you?"

"Twenty-two. Why?"

"I'm thirty-two. Dude, that makes me ten years older than you! I'm not interested in robbing the cradle!"

"More like robbing the elementary school. But okay, go on."

"Um... well... you're, like, in college. Don't you want to be going out to tons of parties, drinking too much, hooking up, all that stuff? I'm an old lady, compared to you."

"Been there. Done that. Over it."

That shocked Rosemary.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Girls dig me at parties. They think I'm cute and helpless, or something. Just takes one night to prove them wrong." Fabricio fixed her with a meaningful grin as he finished his last piece of pizza. Suddenly Rosemary realized how sexy he was, with those dark eyes, chiseled face, and sensual lips. When he smiled, it was like somebody turned the lights on in an art gallery. All of a sudden the richness of his character was revealed.

"The thing is," he went on, wiping his finger on a paper napkin, then crumpling it onto his plate, "I'm over girls, at this point. I'm looking for a woman. The woman, you know what I mean?"

His eyes spoke volumes. Rosemary's heart constricted when she understood what he meant. Isn't that what I want, too? Aren't I looking for the man? Is this guy for real? Then the image of Josh, sweating over her last night, popped into her mind, and she blushed. It was too much, too fast. She was, literally, speechless.

"Just remember, when this other guy turns out to be an asshole, I'll be here."

It took a while for her brain to process that. When it did, her brow furrowed in anger and confusion.

"Wait... what do you mean?"

"Mean by what?"

"What do you mean, 'when'? Why not 'if'?"

"Just got a feeling. Pretty sure he's gonna treat you bad. And when he does, I'll be waiting for you."

"You got a lot of nerve, Fabricio, telling me my boyfriend is an asshole! You never even met him!" Her ire was up now. Sage always joked that her temper must have come from Mom's side, since otherwise Rosemary was quite calm and balanced. You know, Sage had said, Korean traits.

"Don't have to meet him. I just know."

"How? How do you know that?"

"Because you're the woman for me. I knew that the minute you bumped into me in the Northwest Native art gallery. Therefore, any other man in your life is bound to be an asshole."

"You..." Rosemary was totally out of words. She didn't even know how she felt. Somewhere, deep inside, she sensed he might be right. But she was angry about what he'd said, defensive of Josh, of the amazing night they'd shared. Rosemary wasn't ready to give up sex like that! Or the possibility of something more... permanent.

"Whatever," she said, lamely, at last.

Fabricio chuckled. He picked up his plate and began to head over to the garbage station.

"Just remember: when he shows his true colors – whoever he is – I'll be here. Waiting. For you."