Darling You'll Be Okay (Kellic Fanfiction)

Confessions

Hey guys! Long chapter, and WARNING! it's kind of graphic yeah. Anyways, enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kellin POV

"... Give Kellic shippers some hope!" I heard as I stirred from my slumber. I felt lips on the top of my head and a clicking noise. I didn't understand and honestly I didn't really care. I was so comfortable right now!

I flipped over so my face was against Vic's chest and took in a deep breath. His scent was my most favorite smell in the whole wide world. He smelled like whiskey and some sweet cologne.

"Well, I'm going to make breakfast for all of us. You should wake your boyfriend up and tell him to get dressed! We have a show in like... five hours." I heard Mike say. No, I don't care if we have a show. I think I'm just going to stay here and be happy.

Vic shook my shoulder and I groaned in annoyance. Fuck you Vic, I'm staying right where I am!

He shook me harder this time so I slapped him in the face. I opened my eyes to see him smirking at me, trying to push me off the couch. We wrestled for a little while until the both of us fell onto the floor. I landed on top of Vic and blushed furiously.

"Kells! We got to get ready. We have a show in five hours. Do you want to take a shower first or should I?" I responded by practically jumping off of him and sprinting to the bathroom. I felt tears run down my face as I slumped down against the door.

I put my head in my hands and let out a shaky breath. Damn, I'm so disgusting. Vic must have been crushed by me when I fell on him. I would have been.

Knowing it probably sounded suspicious, I quickly turned on the shower. While it was warming up, I searched for any sort of blade, and hit the jackpot when I found a fairly large box cutter in the back of a drawer. I needed to be punished for what I'd done to Vic.

I hopped in the burning shower with the blade in my hand, sinking to the floor. I had to work up the courage to do this again, but I knew it would be worth it. I needed this, I know I needed it.

I put the sharp metal to my skin and dragged it across my thigh. It was deeper than my first ones, but more shallow than my last. I let myself go numb and started singing.

"I kissed the scars on her skin. I still think you're beautiful and I don't ever want to lose my best friend." I sung those lyrics over and over again until I realized I had continued cutting. I counted the cuts.

18. Holy shit 18 fucking cuts. I thought to myself. They were on both of my thighs and some of them were really deep. Oh my God. What did I just do to myself? How am I going to hide this!

With the shower still on, I wrapped my cuts and cleaned up the blood that had dripped onto the floor. I dried my hair a bit and shut off the water.

Wrapping a towel around my waist, I walked out the door to a smiling Vic. It was his anxious smiled though. I bet he's gonna say that we can't be friends anymore...

"H-hey Kells, you should put on some clothes. I have to talk to you about something." My stomach dropped. I felt like I was going to throw up. A million different situations, all negative, we're running through my head.

"Um... I forgot to grab clothes. I don't have any here." I was shaking. I could tell.

"Just wear some of mine. They might be a little big but I'm sure they'll work." again, he smiled at me. It sent a small warmth through my tummy, though that may have also been the anxiety.

I went to go search for clothes. I dug through his drawers until I decided on an Of Mice & Men shirt and grey skinny jeans. They were big on me, which I found absurd. It must be an illusion.

I came back to find Vic fiddling with his fingers.

Dammit, I was so nervous and terrified. I didn't know what he was gonna say or break to me. Did he think I was disgusting? Did he want to tell me that I should leave and never come back?

He patted the spot next to him on the couch and I sat down, fighting the urge not to wince.

"Okay Kellin. I'm super shy and stuff, but I just got to say this because I can't hold it in any longer." Okay, now I was confused. "Kellin... I love you."

He couldn't mean... No, he just meant as a friend. "I love you too Vic!"

He shook his head. "No. Kellin, I love you. I LOVE love you. Like, I'm madly in love with you and I have been for months. I wanted to tell you but I was too shy and scared that you wouldn't like me back."

I was stunned. I didn't know what to say, or what to do, or if I believed him. "You're lying." I stated, tears welling up in my eyes.

He put his hand on my thigh, making me cry out in pain. That's when the whole world stopped. He's gonna know. He's gonna hate me. Oh god he's gonna think I'm so stupid.

"Kellin." He said to me, slightly confused but extremely worried. "Show me your thighs."

"No." I choked out a sob. I can't do this.

He grabbed my hand and dragged me to his bunk, sitting me down on the bed and looking at me sternly.

"Kellin Quinn Bostwick. Show me your thighs right now or I'm going to take these pants off and look for myself." I couldn't do anything. I was sobbing much too hard.

I felt him slowly take off my (well, his) pants. He lifted up the bottom of my boxers and see the bloody gauze. He took the gauze off too and I felt him shake.

"Kellin... Why would you do this? Honey, these are so deep. Why would you hurt yourself so badly."

I just sat there crying. I reached my arms out for a hug like a five year old, but lucky for me, it was received. He stroked my hair and rubbed my back.

"I'm so sorry Vic... I'm a pathetic hypocrite!" I heard him say something but I couldn't hear most of it, except for the last bit.

"... beautiful. I love you Kellin."

It's a lie. It has to be. It just has to...