Obsessed

Chapter 56

"Don't worry about it. I brought you some dinner."

"It's night time already?"

"You must be starving."

"But it was just midday?"

"Eat." He hands me a bag of MacDonald's.

I stay awake most of the night. I drift in and out of sleep. Kyle's hospital room has its own private bathroom that says 'patients only'. Sierra and Harmony came to visit and brought some clean clothes for me as Toby requested. "Can you please shower." Sierra says.

"You don't want to stink when Kyle wakes up," Harmony says.

"Thanks." I shower in Kyle's personal bathroom even though I'm not supposed to. It feels good to be clean and fresh. I wish I could stay in here longer, even though the place smells like disinfectant.

Sierra and Harmony leave a suitcase full of clothes for me, flowers and cards for Kyle and then bid me goodbye. "Are you sure you don't want us to take you home?" Harmony says.

"I'll be ok." I say. "Thanks for the clean clothes."

They leave. Randy, Emma and Belinda come in next. Randy almost starts crying. Emma leaves a card and Belinda leaves some homemade cookies. She warned me that she isn't a good chef. I tried laughing but all that came out was a husky wheeze. My voice is practically gone, it hurts to speak.

Dylan and Josh visit that night. They put on the soccer game and watch it like Kyle and them had planned to tonight. They talk to him like he's here. They even let him hold the remote. They also offer to take me home but I decline and stay with Kyle the rest of the night. They're such sweet friends.

My eyes water but I don't cry in front of them.

Three days later and he's still unresponsive. Toby comes in and out with food but I barely eat it. The nurses change his drip daily. He looks sick. He looks pale and his cheeks are thinner. Even though it's only a small amount, I can tell he's lost weight. I keep having nightmares about Kyle and that stranger. In every dream, Kyle dies. Every time.

I find myself crying. I think about all the stupid things I said to him. How I never told him I love him. Never.

I wipe my face and have another shower. I've gone through the suitcase Harmony and Sierra left. Lots of little goodies are in there. Smelly soap, blankets, makeup, perfume and deodorant. Even chocolate. But none of it makes me feel happy. I keep feeling like I'm going through a dark tunnel of doom. And every step of the way, the tunnel just gets darker.

I get out of the bathroom just as Toby comes into the room. "How is he?" He asks me.

"No change." I say.

"Aren't you missing uni?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you go then?"

"I can't leave him."

There's a silence. The nurse comes in to change Kyles drip. When she leaves, she doesn't fix his blanket. Toby and I go to fix it at the same time and run into each other. "Sorry." He says but doesn't move out of the way. I look down at Kyle and hold his hand. "Kristen..."

"What's wrong?"

"You're look really bad."

"Excuse me?"

"You're a mess. Have you eaten at all today?"

"I'm fine, really."

"No you're not."

"Toby, I'm not in the mood to talk about this right now."

"Kyle isn't going anywhere." 

I flinch.