Playing Games

Part 4: Third Degree

"Connor! Slow down!"

Nicola has been shouting at him to slow down for the past ten minutes, but Connor's feet involuntarily continue to pound on the ground, no stopping in sight. He's several strides ahead of his sister, completely focused on the trail ahead of him.

He knows he's pushing his body beyond its limits, he hasn't ran this hard in months. They hit end of mile six and that's when he feels his lungs heaving for air and the muscles in his abdomen constrict painfully, he finally comes to a screeching halt in the middle of the trail. Nicola is breathing heavily several meters behind him, desperately needing to catch up.

Her younger brother is facing away, arms wrapped around his own heaving chest. Nicola comes to a stop, just a few feet behind Connor, and rests her hands on her knees, "Con?"

She momentarily accepts his silence and lets herself come to sit on the ground. Normally they always allow their heart rates to slow down before taking a rest, but with having struggled for the past half hour to keep up with Connor and not get separated on a huge mountain with no cell service, she makes an exception.

Enough time passes for them to regulate their breathing. Connor is still facing away from his sister when he brings his hands to his face, shoulders hunching and shaking slightly. Nicola is just about to comment on his erratic behavior when Connor suddenly lets out an ear-splitting scream, causing her to jump out of her skin.

Short breaths escape his body when his voice dies, Nicola watches him with wide eyes waiting nervously for him to speak up. He turns around, fists tightly bunched up, his eyes glassy from holding back tears, and weakly says, "I need to tell you something."

"Okay," Nicola breathes, nodding.

They settle on the floor in front of their cabin's fireplace an hour later, mugs of hot tea next to them. Connor is lying down, his head on Nicola's lap as she gently strokes his freshly washed hair.

"I wish you'd told me sooner," she says softly.

"Yeah, me too," Connor whispers, enjoying the tranquility and security between them, "Don't tell mom or dad. I want to tell them the next time I go home."

"Don't wait too long, Con. I could tell from the second that you called me that this was eating you up. It's not healthy."

Connor vaguely recalls what he'd said to his sister when he had made a frantic phone call to her just a few days before, telling her that he really needed his older sister but insisting he couldn't explain things over the phone. It had alarmed Nicola at first but as soon as she flew out to California and saw that he was okay, things started to come together. They'd packed up Connor's car and drove to a mountain resort a few hours outsides of Los Angeles and he had finally gathered the courage to come out to her.

Too much had happened too soon and he just needed to talk. It threw Nicola's week in a loop to spontaneously pick up and leave home, but Connor was so grateful to have a sister willing to do that for him.

"So what are you going to do about Troye?"

"I really don't know. We agreed for everything to go back to normal once we got back to LA, but things are just...not."

They enjoy each other's company for the rest of the afternoon, sipping their tea wishing it was cold enough to turn on the fireplace. Connor finally tells her all the overwhelming things that have been happening the last few months. Admittedly, Nicola is a little disappointed it took him so long to come to her.