Chapter 17

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It's been a week. 

A whole 7 days and we still haven't talked.

Since Grayson and I weren't talking it really affected everyone in our group almost as if Madison and Blake had to pick a side. Which was hard on them since they were dating and all. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was hurt. When I'm hurt, I do stupid things I didn't even mean. Such as flirting with Logan possibly to make Grayson even more pissed off or to feel as if I was hurting him the way he hurt me. But even if I didn't want to admit, he didn't really care or he didn't how it.

Cheer and football practices ran as they normally would. Somewhat anyways. I didn't talk to Grayson, but I still had to see him.

This Friday, we had our last game before Thanksgiving break. Catherine and my mother were going to some doctor convention in Hawaii, which seemed like a mini getaway for them. Then Amelia and Gillian were going on a school trip to Washington, DC. 

I told my mom I would stay at Madison's house since I wasn't speaking to Grayson, but my nose should have grown like Pinocchio's. I would be staying home alone by myself for Thanksgiving break because really I didn't want to interact with anyone. In my house, Thanksgiving wasn't a huge deal, because my dad had football games. So we would usually order carry out or pizza. I didn't mind since I was so used to it.

But I would try my best and put on a fake happy show so I could go home and break down.

I stood in the school restroom adjusting my makeup with Madison. 

"So are you ever going to tell me what's going on with you and Grayson?" She asked holding a face wipe

I held liquid eyeliner in my hands as I was about to apply it before she asked that question. "No. We're just not on the same page."

"You two are too good of friends to be arguing!" Madison projected using too many versions of two, too, and to in a sentence. Which made my head hurt.

"It's amazing how two people can be so perfect for each other, but they're both too scared to get hurt that they push each other away." She went on

I rolled my eyes at her as I started my contour and highlight routine.

"You know my Grandma Ruth always used to say this to my aunt." Madison said putting her makeup brush down "When a girl is used to being hurt, she won't know how it feels when a man starts to appreciate her, so she ends up pushing him away."

I thought about it. She was right, but it was too late and I was too scared. "I'm too scared, okay? I know you're right, but I just can't. I kissed him and he knows that I'm keeping something from him. But he knows it's something with him and I think he knows that I know!"

I sighed at myself in the reflection of the mirror. "That's kind of why I've been up Logan's ass. I wanted to ruffle Grayson's feathers a bit. I don't feel anything with Logan, but I do feel something with Grayson."

Shit. "Feel what?" Madison said grinning

"I don't like Logan and you know that. But you also don't know what exactly what happened with Grayson. It was messy. My heart broke after I realized what I did. I pushed him away and said a bunch of messy things." I vented with my voice trailing off at the end

"Are you realizing something?" Madison said closing her makeup bag

I nodded my head "Yeah I need to blend my contour line a little more."

"Something else?" Madison asked hitting my shoulder lightly

I could tell she wanted me to say something else, but was I going to? No, because I didn't know myself.

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