A Brief Intro To My Now Screwed Life

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A lot of people say nothing special happens at 17. At 16 you get your license. At 18 you're now able to vote. But at 17? Not much going on. But I'm living proof that those people are wrong.

But it's cool because you don't have anything to worry about. Probably. You probably don't have anything to worry about. But don't hold me to it, okay?

On the off chance that something does happen, feel free to panic. 'Cause your life is about to get seriously screwed up. I know mine did.

We'll try to find you first. Hopefully we reach you before your 17th birthday, but in case we don't, run. Get out of there ASAP, because they are always close. Always.

Just keep in mind that as wacko as this all seems, I'm sane. Ok? Great. Now for the very, very beginning.

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