Imperfectly Perfect

Chapter 28 - Always by your side

"Hi," I break out my gaze and look down again.

"May I sit beside you?"

I don't utter a word, but only nod. He stands quiet for sometime before taking a place beside me on the stairs. Our bodies are in very close proximity, and it makes me feel immensely uncomfortable. Therefore, scooting over a tad, I glare at the blue sky and the moving clouds. From the corner of my eyes, I catch Steven staring at me with lost eyes.

"Can we not talk now also?" he asks, out of the blue.

I can't help, but meet my gaze with him. My brows pull closer to each other as I lick my lips.

"Why do you think that?" I ask him back.

He shrugs. "Just reasons. Your boyfriend doesn't really like me,"

I laugh, and shake my head. "I don't blame his reasons, Steven." I lock my sight with him again.

He appears stunned as his lips part. The next thing I know is his arms travelling around my shoulders, and his breaths aerating on my ear.

"What do I need to do for your forgiveness, Nadia?" he mutters.

I widen my eyes and shoot daggers at him.

"You cannot touch me," I say and shift more aside. "And, you definitely don't know anything, Steven. Nothing," I plunge my head within my palms, and start sobbing.

"Then tell me," he urges.

I look at him with watery eyes before breaking the gaze. "Niall is sick," I whisper. "He....he has stage 4 lung cancer."

As the last words leave my mouth, I feel my heart simply cut open into multiple pieces. I don't know why on earth I tell Steven the reality of my life when I didn't even tell my sister.

He doesn't utter anything for so long that I stare at him once again. I find him looking down with furrowed eyebrows.

My lips quiver, and chest vibrates inward and outward as I continue, "I got to know only a few weeks before."

"How long has he had cancer?" Steven finally speaks.

"9 months," I bite my lower lip.

He looks at me and stays mum for split seconds. "Hey," he keeps a hand on my shoulder. "Everything will be fine, trust me."

I cry incessantly now. "It's such an easy sentence, isn't it? We can say that if we lose our job or suffer heartbreak. But, how am I supposed to accept that he won't be in this world anymore? I won't be able to see his face anymore, hold....hold him anymore...."

I break down. Steven rubs a hand on my knee now.

I swallow and resume, "He doesn't deserve this, any of these. He is a wonderful person, and I love him so much. I....I don't know if I can make it out without him. I don't....don't know."

"Are you crazy? He'll be fine, Nadia. Just don't lose hope," he pats on my back.

I sniff and lock sight with him. "Every day, I see him crush. One bit at a time. I...I feel like staying awake the whole night, so if he tries to leave me I can hold him close to my heart and....show him....how much I want him, I need him, I love him. I've never been scared of sleep as much as I'm now. I've never hated the night as much as I do now.

You know...every night when he sleeps beside me, I feel like a failure. I despise myself for not being able to do anything, and only waiting for the doctor to say it's over, and just confine to it."

"Sometimes life doesn't really leave many choices for you," Steven replies.

"I want more choices for him because he is only 23. He should live, he should be happy and not in pain," I cry even more, and continue, "Every time I see him, I feel like doing some kind of miracle – just something that will cure him, take away his pains and make him stay. Is that crazy?" I lock my gaze with Steven.