OBSESSIVE

always

your first betrayal happened precisely 
a week later, when you got your first
damned
boyfriend. 

was it that easy to break a promise?

if I asked you, would you remember
his
damned
name?

I know very well that I will never forget.

his name was harry.

I lost you, as I
watched you skip and hold hands
with someone who couldn't love you like I could.

every time you laughed, 
it hollowed out my stomach,
and I'd wince every time you
snorted at his pathetic jokes. 

my 
friends tried to coax
me into playing games with them,
but i refused. they gave up and I became even lonelier.

I just wanted to watch you.

and imagine it was my hand
you were clenching so tight,
keeping me close to your 
invisible melodies of the heart.

my parents didn't understand
why their son was weeping salted rivers,
every single time they picked me up from school.

they told my brother to take me for ice cream,
as if ice cream could repair my loneliness.  

smart and cunning however,  

i came up
with a plan. to sabotage your
new relationship.

"which flavour of sundae do you want, mate?" my brother asked,
as he pulled up into a parking space. 

"I don't want ice cream anymore." I said, unbuckling my belt.

my brother's eyes became stormy. 
he banged his fist against the steering wheel. 

"are you kidding me? first you ruined the teddy bear grandma got me as a kid and now you don't even want ice cream." 

"I'm sorry." 

"don't cry. look, what do you want instead? a burger?"

I begged my brother to buy
me a large packet of sweets.

I didn't eat any. 

I kept them tight to my chest
on the car ride home,
humming -

skye is going to be mine skye is going to be mine harry's gonna cry because skye is going to be mine