Bokushi Falls Sick feat. Boner

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"Teeetsuuuyaaaa..."

"Sei-nii no."

"Buuuuut -"

"Bokushi, stop pestering Kuroko."

"Buuuut...Ore-nii..."

Akashi gave his younger-by-two-hours twin an exasperated look that came off as fond more than anything else. Kuroko still looked typically deadpan, ruined by a tinge of concern on his face as he gently pushed their stubborn brother onto their shared bed.

"We can handle the first string practice by ourselves, so just stay here and rest, Bokushi," Akashi sighed reassuringly.

"I don't need to reeeest...I'm peeeerfectly fine. Tell him, Teeeeetsuuuyaaa...!"

Kuroko gave Seijuurou a disapproving shake of his head as he easily fought off his brother's barely resisting flailing limbs.

"With all due respect, Sei-nii, a person who can't even walk two steps without tripping over flat ground is never considered 'fine'."

"It was an accideeeent..."

Kuroko's face remained deadpan.

"Sei-nii, you kissed Aka-nii on the lips today thinking it was me."

Akashi choked loudly at the remembrance of what happened that morning and wondered whether staring at his lock screen of Kuroko in a bath for a few hours would help him erase that rather traumatizing piece of memory from his mind.

"Sorry, Ore-nii."

"I would like it if you forgot about it as well, Bokushi," Akashi said grimly, looking a little sick himself.

"I already texted Nijimura-senpai and sent him a picture of you. He said, as quoted, 'can and will tie him to the bed and make sure he rests if he takes even one step out of the house and I can guarantee it would not be in the kinky way'."

The twins shuddered at that. Great, another traumatizing memory to bleach out of their heads.

"Teeelll hiiim to know his plaacee, Teeetsuuyaaa..."

"Sei-nii, no, he's our senpai."

"B-Buuuut..."

"Anyway. Just rest today, Bokushi. You're barely articulate as it is," Akashi cut him off abruptly as he helped Kuroko tuck their stubborn brother into bed.

If Seijuurou was actually not so sick at that point of time, he probably would've used his totally awesome point guard skills to escape his brothers' loving clutches. Unfortunately, he was so hilariously out of it he could probably pass off as a drunkard. A really hot drunkard, but a drunkard nonetheless.

He probably would've protested a lot more violently to the clothes he was being forced to wear as well. Since all he had as nightwear were (no joke) several pairs of monogrammed pyjamas that were so thick they might as well be made out of wool; Kuroko decided that he would wear one of Akashi's loose T-shirts and sweatpants.

Seijuurou would never admit it, but he was actually extremely grateful that they got him out of that suffocating fabric that could've probably given even Aomine asthma just by wearing it.

"Sei-nii..." Kuroko said softly, gently brushing the hair out of his brother's eyes, "please rest. For me..."

After seeing that endearing display of worry and affection from his little brother, Seijuurou eventually gave in, his resistance already crippling as his head fell gracelessly onto a pillow.

"Do you need anything before we leave, Sei-nii?" Kuroko sighed in relief, sitting daintly on the edge of the mattress.

Seijuurou looked up with hazy eyes, giddiness threatening to overtake him as he felt a cool towel being pressed onto his forehead.

Blinking rapidly, he caught his older brother drying his hands with the bottom of his shirt, grinning exasperatedly at the sick boy.

"A kissssss..."

Without even questioning his request, Kuroko leaned down to plant a brief kiss on his onii-chan's cheek, grimacing slightly at the ridiculous body heat the redhead was emitting. It was simply not healthy and the bluenette - despite his looks - was worried for him.

Seijuurou seemed to notice, and chuckled half-heartedly.

"Do I reaaaally taste thaaaat baaad, Teeetsuuyaaa?"

Kuroko shook his head cutely in response, his grimace still present on his face.

"No...it's just that Sei-nii has a really bad fever so..I'm worried."

Their younger brother's normally blank eyes quickly turned teary, his lower lip jutting out in a trembling pout. Complete with a dark blush on his cheeks and his thighs squeezed together anxiously, Kuroko looked...

BA-DUMP BA-DUMP BA-DUMP

Akashi's nose was bleeding so profusely it was spilling onto the floor and he was honestly already trying to handle it as calmly as possible while asking himself why the fuck was his little brother so damn fuckdorable.

Seijuurou got a boner and was valiantly trying to hide it with a pillow as discreetly fucking possible while giving out punched-out groans.

Kuroko was completely oblivious to all of this and just went to ask:

"Akashi-niichan...Seijuurou-niichan...are you alright?"

Both twins heaved a frustrated sigh of relief and looked torn between laughing and crying at the question.

"Tetsuya/Kuroko...please stop being so cute!"

"Eh?" the innocent bluenette wonders loudly as he watches his brothers struggle with their self-inflicted internal crises.

...

Kuroko and Akashi ended up half an hour late to practice.

Kuroko's eyes were rimmed with red and was sniffing cutely into a handkerchief.

Akashi's nose was still bleeding.

Everybody wanted to ask the burning question that was lying on the tip of their tongues, but after careful consideration of the consequences, decided not to.

Because asking a stupid question is really not worth giving their currently ill co-captain enough motivation to run out of his bed and start stabbing people with his scissors, honestly.

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