The Mechanic

-Chapter Ten-

Location: Central

I don't know what I'm doing. Not at all. And I have even less of an idea what I want to do.

Great.

I plunk my fingers down on the keys again. It seems like this has been most of all that I've done the last few days. I'd love to be able to get my feelings out in some kind of sound that isn't moaning. Or screaming. Not that I've done either of those lately to express myself, but I'd love to be able to feel again... the way I did.

"Do you want help?"

I smile at the sound of her voice without even thinking. "I guess. That might be good."

Her light footsteps tiptoe around me, and she stops at me elbow. "Your hands..." she takes my fingers and bends them slightly, into a curve, and sets my hand back down on the keys. And she does it again.

"Pretend that you're holding a bubble. You have to hold it gently. Cup your hands a little more."

I look down at her. "I don't know how to do 'gentle.'"

She nods subtly, looking back at me. "Yes, you do. Just pretend that you don't want to break anything. Hold it gently."

Her hands guide mine, and she helps me strike a simple chord.

I smile. "Thanks."

"It's alright," she says.

I stare at her for a moment, trying to put my finger on what's different about her today. Something is different. She doesn't have warmth, still. She doesn't seem to have lost the flicker of fear that shows every time I smile at her.

But something is different, somehow.

"Are you alright today?" I ask.

She smiles a tiny bit, nodding gently. "Yes, I suppose. It's not a bad day."

I smile back. "That's good." I look down at the keyboard. "It's always good to be good," I sigh.

She doesn't say anything.

"You're so pretty," I whisper, something cracking inside. "I'm sorry, but it's true."

"Maybe I am," she says softly, looking down. "And maybe I'm not. But I don't know how to take it when you say it."

"Take it as a compliment." I shift away from her, hoping that I'm not making her too uncomfortable.

She looks down at the piano. "You've been trying to play it."

I nod. "A little." What an understatement.

"You've been trying to play my song."

"Yes," I admit. "I'd love to hear it again."

She shakes her head. "No."

For a second, I just watch her. Watch her as she looks back at me, brown and blue eyes hard. But she seems like she isn't afraid.

I don't know why she won't play it, but I think it's because it's me asking. Just a thought.

"Femi?"

She shakes her head. "No."

I bite the inside of my cheek, thinking. I don't know what, exactly. Just things. Things like how she used to look at me, and the sound of her voice with every "I do."

Just little things. Dangerous things for me to be thinking, at the moment. And maybe forever.

"Femi?" I ask.