SNIPPET OF A FAIRYTALE

Of Recollections and Coldness

At yun yung dahilan ng mga personal issues at pressures sa paligid ni Zoey. At kagaya ni Kurt, binubuhos nya na lang lahat yon sa music. Sa bawat palo  nya sa drums, pakiramdam ni Arci dun naiilabas ni Zoey lahat ng angst nya.

She remembered something that she read which Cobain said when he was still alive.

"I remember feeling ashamed for some reasons. I was ashamed of my parents. I couldn't face my friends at school anymore, because I desperately wanted to have the classic, you know, typical family. Mother, father, I wanted to have that security so I resented my parents for quite a few years because of that."

Pero hindi naman kailangan ni Zoey itago sa kanya lahat diba? Kase maiintindihan nya naman...

She's trying to keep her tears from falling. Ayaw nya naman gumawa ng eksena dito.

Naiisip nya lang... papano kaya kung mas naging honest sa kanya si Zoey. Kase hindi naman big deal sa kanya kung nakikitira si Zoey sa coffee shop, o kung working student man sya. Mas magiging proud pa nga sya kase he's independent. Hindi nya lang talaga matanggap na inisip ni Zoey na hindi nya maiintindihan. Kase of all people, she could tell him everything about her, all her flaws, kinks, weaknesses. And it saddens her that he wouldn't do it in return.

After the activity, sinabi ng instructor nila na sabay sabay nilang susunugin yung sulat nila. At kasabay ng pagsunog na yon kailangan na nilang kalimutan ang kung ano mang lungkot at galit nila don.

"What the actual fuck?" Andeng exclaimed.

"Shhhh!" Saway naman ni Pibi sa kanya, napatingin na kase sa kanila yung instructor.

"Yung sinulat natin- Yung pinaghirapan natin isulat, susunugin lang?!" Andeng whispered

"What's your problem ba?" Roxanne furrowed at her.

Andeng shook her head in disbelief. "Tsk. Pinaghirapan ko kaya isulat yung letter na yon. Daig ko pa nagcreative writing! This is all fucked up."

"We're all fucked up." nagulat naman sila nung nagsalita si Chino.

Pero nagkatinginan lang sila at nakinig na ulit sa nagsasalita sa unahan.

Isa-isa silang tinawag para maglagay ng folded letters nila sa malaking lata na may apoy.

Sunud-sunod silang tinawag.
Nung nakabalik na si Andeng sa pwesto...

"O akala ko, ayaw mo sunugin yung letter mo??" Sabi ni Sean na kumakain ng skyflakes.

"Sino maysabeng sinunog ko?" She smirked, at inangat yung notebook nya kung saan nakalagay yung letter nya.

Sean's eyes grew wide.

"So ano yon?" Sean pointed the burning paper that Andeng dropped.

"Blank page yon." She was fighting the urge to laugh.

Maraming activities pa ang ginawa nila nung hapon. Syempre hindi nawala yung traditional na "Sorry, Thank you, and I Love You" activity na madalas ginagawa sa mga recollection.

Narefresh naman kahit papano ang mga isip nila. Medyo gumaan na yung pakiramdam nila nung papauwi na. Nagphoto op pa silang barkada bago sumakay ng bus. Nag joke pa si Andeng na mag iwan ng space para kay Zoey, at iaadobe photoshop nya raw. Which they surprisingly found funny. And for the first time in a long time. They all actually laughed. And that made Arci happy.

Gabi na nung nakauwi sila, pero dumiretso pa rin si Arci sa ospital. At katulad ng mga nakaraang linggo naabutan nya si Zoey na nakahiga, walang malay, at maraming tubes na nakakabit sa katawan. Sanay na rin sya marinig ang tunog ng makina sa tabi ni Zoey, at makita ang curve lines na nagsasabing his heart is still beating.