There's a Thin Line Between Hate and Love (JeanxEren)

Scene XXIII

I watch Eren sprint to his car, flustered and adorable. It isn't until after he's driving away that what just happened really registers.

Holy shit.

We just kissed. And I think...it wasn't one-sided. I mean, he is the one that tugged on my shirt, right? And then he looked at me with those beautifully sad eyes and he bit his lip. He was definitely asking me to kiss him. I bury my face in my knees, rocking back and forth as I internally jump for joy.

He's so fucking cute I love him.

So much. Ahh.

Does this mean he likes me too? ...But I haven't really seen any signs of something like that. It's possible he just got caught up in the moment, and then...

Oh. Maybe he regrets it. Maybe that's why he ran away. Besides, he thinks I still dislike him.

...I wonder if he still dislikes me.

"I never actually hated you."

I really thought he did. Did I just waste a bunch of years being petty and missing out on a great friendship? Maybe we could've gotten to this point earlier. Why was I such a dumb fuck in my earlier years.

Well it's not like I'm old, but 14 year old Jean versus 17 year old Jean is a big difference. Yikes.

Okay, but I swear I felt high just now. Kissing Eren was kind of like this weird out of body experience. But it felt amazing. Seriously amazing. I probably could kiss him the rest of my life and be completely content. Well of course I want to live with him. Like in our own place. Something we picked together.

Okay Jean, stop. Don't let your thoughts go too far.

...

I look up at the sky, which is now dark. The stars are beginning to twinkle and I think about Eren's eyes. They're so pretty, but so full of sadness. It's as if he's begging for help that he doesn't allow himself to have. I sigh, thinking of how I should probably get back before Eren does something stupid like run away.

I stand up and fold the blanket back into its original state. While dusting myself off, I think about who the hell he must have thought of, when he was talking to me about that list. I mean there's me, but he doesn't know that, and...

Oh God it's Connie.

Annie told me I was going to have to worry about him. But Eren doesn't like him, does he? Actually, even if he doesn't, he's probably very easily influenced.

What an adorable idiot.

Agh, I can't even insult him anymore.

Man, he's so cute. Ugh, shut up Jean, stop. You probably look like an idiot with such a huge grin on your face.

My phone pings and I check my texts. It's Annie.

[A: bitch did u do something stupid ]

[What, why would you think that?] I reply.

[A: eren just tweeted about how much he hates horses?? what the fuck happened]

[Nothing, we just kissed.]

I smile to myself as I think about it. We kissed.

[A: for real??? like, frfr? are u serious? was it just kissing or did you like, make out! oh my god i'm so excited for you Kirschnickerdoodle!]

She's so happy.

[Annie. Stop with the nickname. But I think we made out?? I mean, he seemed like he was kinda into it.]