ஐ Living, Only for Him ஐ

Chapter 16: Revelations

"No," he croaked, pulling his hand back. "Don't wanna," he whispered, "Can't sleep,"

My eyes narrowed in suspicion."I'll take you to my room." I told him, "We'll talk there, kay?"

He hesitated and sighed, slowly nodded like a child and let me pull him to my room. When we stepped in, he looked like wide eyed at the cream walls and the posters and books laid out. "It's you." he said and I looked at him, confused. "There," he said, pointing to a three year old picture of mine on my desk. It was one of me, Harry and Jason posing at our middle school grad. I smiled at the memories, momentarily forgetting the dilemma at hand.  

I sighed as I sat him in my bed, taking a seat right next to him. Looking him straight in the eye, I asked. "What's wrong?"

Dezmin just looked down at his lap, playing with his fingers. "Nightmare," he whispered.

"What was it about?"

He paused for a bit. "My mom. When she was still... mom. I remembered him and her."

"Him?" I inquired.

"My dad." he replied, "My actual dad." When I looked at him in confusion, he carried on. "The guy you met, Jackie, isn't my dad. He's my dad's brother. Mom remarried after dad died."

I nodded. Huh, Leah didn't look the type to remarry.

"There was blood. On my sixth birthday." he talked on, "I saw my dad ruffling my hair and saying happy birthday to me. The next thing I knew was red. And black. I think I was sleeping. I woke up later, to find that dad was dead. A month later, mom married... him." Then suddenly his breath hitched and tears escaped his eyes. "What do I do?" he sobbed, swallowing some of his words in the process, "I don' even know... I thought... that everythin'd be fine after that! That it'd be fine! It never was!" he was now full on hysterically crying.

A sharp pang went through my chest and a lump formed in my throat. Dezmin reached at his hair, and I pulled his hands softly back, cradling both in ny own. "You're okay." I heard myself whisper. "For now. Things are alright. We are all alright." His sobs quieted down and he squeezed my hands. I pulled him closer to me and hugged him so that his head was laying on my shoulder. "She told me to take care of you." I whispered to him. "Leah." His breath hitched again and I could hear his heart hammering through him. "And I'm not here only because of that. I am your friend. You are someone important to me. So please don't think that you have to shoulder all of this by yourself, okay?" Dezmin sniffed, squeezing ever so tightly. "Don't think that you're all alone and that you need to keep on facing these fears and anxieties by yourself. You have people around you who care for you. So next time, whenever you're feeling bad, you come to me or Liam, you hear? We'll be here and we'll be able to help you."

He pulled back and he looked straight into my eyes. His slightly widened and he sighed. "Jus' needed to make sure." he said, before pulling a small smile. It vanished soon and he continued looking at me, a dazed expression on his face.

I cocked my face to the side. "Something wrong?"

Dezmin leaned in, and softly pecked my lips, slowly, savouring every second. My eyes widened as his taste hit my mouth and I willingly returned the kiss. Dezmin's body jerked and he was about to pull back, but I grabbed the back of his head and pushed him to me again. I felt him tense, but he slowly gave in as I explored every inch of his mouth, the sweet, salty taste lingering in my mouth, even as I pulled away. He looked at me, his hands itching to touch me. "Can I?" he asked hesitantly and I nodded. "Don't worry about it," I replied.

I was the one now who had the dazed look in his eyes. Dezmin's face mirrored my look, but his was something stronger. Like he'd been holding back for a long, long time. Then it clicked in my head. He most certainly had waited quite some time. He large hands reached under my shirt and groped, his mouth on my neck, peppering small kisses on my body. A blinding light hit me as I felt it. A kind of pinch and squeeze that sent my insides tingling. I bit my lip as I felt it, trying to keep my noise level down. Dezmin tsked and kissed my mouth hungrily, making me release a small and fast gasp as he sent the feeling through me again. I felt the lower half of me twitching, painfully throbbing. I was barely aware of my body as it reached out to touch rough, pale skin. My body moved on it's own, only aware of and fueled by the feeling his touches were giving. For the first time I thought, this pain is glorious.