Hexus: Neo

)22( Defect

"I'm really sorry, okay? B? B, please just let me in."

He fell on his knees and looked at the door. Adam could have destroyed the locks easily if he wanted to, so Ecru knew his pleas had nothing to do with the physical barrier between them. With a pained sigh, he waved his hand and pulled back the locks.

No point delaying the inevitable.

The door swung open, revealing Adam's muscular body shadowed against the dimmed bedroom lights. He leaned against the doorframe, watching Ecru with an unreadable expression.

"I really screwed this up, didn't I?"

Ecru grit his teeth as he closed his eyes. He hated how weak he felt. He often wondered how he had let the younger man have such a hold over him, but he knew he was too far gone now to do anything about it. He took a breath to steel his emotions and tried to speak without letting his voice waver.

"I suppose I forced you into it, so it is understandable. You obviously have more important things to think about, but I just never imagined we would get to the point where you would actually rather think of work than being with me."

"B, it's not...You don't understand-"

"Don't patronize me, Adam. At least be decent enough to tell me to my face. Am I not doing it for you anymore?"

"NO!"

Ecru winced and looked away. He could almost feel the tears at bay as he looked around the wrecked room for something to focus on. The state of the room seemed almost fitting, but it was nothing compared to how he felt inside.

This is it. This is really how it ends. Guess I should have seen it coming.

"I..." Adam mumbled. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

Ecru looked up with a surprised frown. The debris cleared out of Adam's path as he walked in and crouched in front of Ecru.

"Everyone's looking up to me," Adam said, "waiting for me to somehow fix this messed up situation we're in, and I'm completely clueless. There's so much at stake here, and I can't lead this team if I don't really know what I'm doing, but I can't afford to give up either. And if I don't figure this out soon, or if I make one single mistake, we could..."

Adam sighed dejectedly and Ecru stared for a moment, before looking up at the ceiling.

"I am such an idiot."

He felt Adam's hand on his shoulder and leaned into the touch instinctively. He couldn't help his shudder as warm fingers gently traced the familiar lines of his tattoos, going up towards his neck first before brushing down his arm until their fingers were interlaced.

"No," Adam said, squeezing his hand lightly. "I'm the idiot. I'm the one who keeps saying we're in this together and I didn't act like we were. And I'm really sorry, for tonight and for anything else I've done to make you feel like I'm pulling away."

Ecru raked him with an unamused leer. "You were reading my mind?"

"No," Adam said, smiling faintly. "Just felt what you were feeling." His eyes crinkled slightly as he chuckled. "If it's any consolation, I was actually trying to hold out for you when I zoned off. And you know how I get once my mind focuses on something. Before I knew it, I was formulating battle plans."

They were silent for a moment, before Ecru smirked.

"You called me 'B' earlier."

Adam's eyebrow rose. "We're alone, and I'm sure no one heard-"