I didn’t want to say anything to anyone because they all gave me sympathetic looks...they all gave me hugs in which they would pat me on the back and whisper it’s going to be okay. Yes I knew it was going to be okay but right now it sucked I was angry because he finally was going to try and reconnect with me and Kenton and now he’s dead. How is that fair! Max had returned to touring after much arguing between the two of us and I was sitting here alone in an empty apartment tears running down my face because everything in life was fucked. I stared down at my stomach it was starting to form a little bulge it brought a smile to my face for a second but then invoke some sort of fear because this was so real...in less than six months I was going to be a mother.
“Gwendoline dear are you home?” Max’s mom called. Max gave her a key after the funeral so she could check in on me and make sure I was alive and such, of course I was alive. He always worried too much.
“In the kitchen,” I replied. I stared down at what I was wearing a plaid button up that Max had left behind and a pair of his boxers. The buttons that were supposed to be done up to hide my stomach were wide open and I was staring down at my stomach like I expected something to happen. “I look horrendous I know,” I spoke barely above a whisper when I saw her shadow standing above me.
“Don’t say that,” she cooed sitting down beside me.
“But it’s true...” I retorted. “He will never get to walk me down the aisle...or hold his grandchildren. He will never do anything ever again because he’s dead. I’m so angry with him I almost wish he didn’t want to try and reconnect because then this wouldn't have happened. It’s all my fault, if I hadn’t called him the accident never would have happened,” the words fell out along with the tears.
“It was in no way shape or form your fault,” she replied drawing circles on my back as I sobbed into her shoulder.
“But it feels like it was.” We sat there in silence maybe because she knew that words couldn't fix this at the moment, all I really needed was Max here and I felt selfish for wanting that but I needed him right now. We stayed in silence for hours until she had to get home I thanked her for coming and then apologize for not being too great of company.
I stared at the clock debating whether or not I should get out of bed, I really didn’t want to but I had to stop this my life had to go one so I walked to my closet and tried to find something to wear. I practically couldn’t fit anything in my closet other than a few dresses and t-shirts so I pulled on a loose fitting floral print dress sliding on my converse and before I could argue with myself I left the house.
“Hi guys,” I said walking into work they all stared at me for a while before running and engulfing me in hugs.
“We have missed you,” Andrew cooed.
“I’ve missed you too! Now tell me what I can do because I’m tired of sitting at home and being useless!” I replied.
“Well I think if you got us coffee that would be wonderful,” Andrew said handing me a list of three coffee orders.
“I can do that!” I said. I walked into the nearest starbucks and ordered what everyone wanted.
“Gwendoline is that you?” a shrill voice asked I turned around to see Maggie.
“Oh hi Maggie how are you?” I asked trying to be as friendly as possible.
“I’m good, I found a new boyfriend,” she said letting out an excited squeal and then her eyes darted to my stomach. “Not to sound rude but Gwen dear you have put on some weight.” she commented shaking her head. “We will go to the gym together sometime, anywho I must be off have a great day.” I was so scared she was going to say pregnant because she would probably piece it all together...okay maybe not she’s a bit of an airhead but you never know. When I got to work everyone had stupid looks on their faces.
“What’s going on?” I asked confused.
“You get the rest of the day off...you have a friend here to see you!” Andrew said pointing towards Alex who was standing in the corner.
“What are you doing here?” I asked running over to him.
“Wanted to see my favourite Brit I missed her,” he said shrugging his shoulders. “I want you to take me sightseeing at all your favourite places,” he said grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the door.
“But work!” I protested.
“Come in tomorrow you were supposed to be off today anyway,” Andrew said sending me away. We had been walking around for a few hours when we came to an old playground that I remembered from my childhood. I dragged Alex towards the swings giggling like a child as I swung back and forth.
“This is where I first met Max,” I explained.
“That’s adorable,” Alex said staring off in the distance. I looked to where his eyes were focused and saw five guys walking towards us a grin danced across Alex’s face. “So today has been fun but I think there is someone here who should probably get you for the rest of it.” that was when I saw Max just a few inches away from and bolted towards him knocking him to the ground.
“Oi! That wasn’t very nice!” he complained as I continued to sit on top of him.
“I missed you!” I replied kissing him passionately.
“Get a room!” Dan teased.
“Maybe we will!” I fired back.
“Too much information!” Dan complained. The boys left taking Alex with them so it was just Max and I now sitting on the swing set.
“It’s been ages since we were here,” I said turning towards Max who was now sitting in front of me on one knee. “Max what are you doing?” I asked starting to panic, why was he doing this was he insane. He couldn’t be, but he was he pulled a small box out of his pocket and stared at me.
“Gwen, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to call you my wife. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, so will you do me a huge favour and marry me I promise that I will try and make you smile everyday because I love you Gweny and I will forever.”
