Soul Search

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Tremaine Neverson

In all honesty I didn't know what last night's 'Kera's all of a sudden mood change' was about, every since I mentioned the studio her vibe changed. And she didn't know that I'd be working with Lauren. Lauren was my bestfriend growing up, I'd go over to her house until people thought we were dating. We always had the friend-brother-sister type relationship until she thought we'd be a bit different as boyfriend and girlfriend.

So we end up trying it out, and by then we're in high school and people and rumors automatically start. From then on things went on. Regarding someone else's life and are whole future and relationship. We had to move past it but, I see the whole situation in Lauren everytime.

Eventually we both became successful, my singing and she became a nurse. Lauren wants to slide into the music business a little bit, and I agreed to help her.

Everyone was sleeping when I left so I could get back soon. Kera didn't know that I was working with Lauren and obviously she didn't like her, or they didn't like each other.

I'll just work with Lauren, get this done and have a strick friend relationship with her. Knowing Kera she might not go for that. But, I'll eventually tell Kera, that I'm going to the studio to help Lauren. Just not now...

****

I walking in the studio room just as Lauren walks in behind me. Lately I've been a little exhausted with baby Adrian. So hopefully these studio times will help me clear my head.

"Tremaine!" She says giving me a soft hug. "You really haven't changed a bit." She smiled revealing something.

"Same old shit. My kids, and wife you know."

"Yeah."

We got in the studio listening to some sounds and beats. She wrote a song called 'If only He Know' and it sounded real good. My iPhone suddenly makes a ping sound revealing I had a incoming text from Kera.

You know Layla got her soccer game today. Be back by one.

I thought you were taking her, I'm at the studio right now.

How you thought that, I'm with Adrian.

Take him or drop him off a my mom's.

Whatever Trey.

What?

Nothin.

Lately Kera's been a little pissy at me or having these damn attitudes and shit. So now I know that I can't tell her about Lauren, because that's just building up more tension right now.

Kera Neverson

How was I going to take Layla to her soccer game, watch Jayden and Adrian. Plus Adrian can't go out as much because he's still young. I sighed annoyed at him right now. Having a new baby is a but much with Layla and Jayden.

Layla's game is in twenty minutes and my head was pounding. Adrian was super cranky today and no support of a father's help.

"Mommy I'm ready!" Layla said as I sat in the kitchen.

"Okay--"

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine just thinkin'--" I say rubbing my forehead.

"Jayden give me my twenty dollars I beat you in 2K." Layla said to Jayden.

"Fine." Jayden says hugging Layla, I smiled. When their not arguing it's actually nice.

I text Chris to see if he could swing by and pick up Jayden and Lay for, Layla's soccer game.

Can you pick up Layla?

Yeah, where Trey?

Studio.

Oh, alright.

"Layla uncle Chris going to pick yall up." I said walking into the living room.

"Oh okay."

****

Chris got here, barging right in without knocking as usual. The kids ran to the car as Chris eyed me.

"What?"

"You good?" He quizzed folding his arms.

Was I fine or okay?

"Mhm--" I made no eye contact, saying a quick mhm getting up and walking past him.

He grabs my arm making me look into his eye. Chris and I had a good brother sister relationship and I thanked him for that. But, not right now.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin." I said growing a bit annoyed.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." I looked into his eyes and could tell I knew I was not fine. It's like I knew something was wrong with me but, couldn't form words to express it. I barely knew myself.

"Alright." He said walking out.

I closed and locked the door  having a small tear roll down my cheek, this was only the beginning of something I couldn't recognize. It didn't have the answers to give myself.

Adrian starting crying so I knew the drill. This time it was from a wet diaper. So I changed him and cuddled with him. He looked a lot like Trey. Both his sons do.

****

As I sat on the couch, thinking about things. I hear Trey, Layla and Jayden all come in from the soccer game. Trey must of met up once he lefted the studio.

"Mommy we won!" Layla shouts as I rest my head up.

"Don't talk so loud. Adrian sleeping but congratulations." I said as best as I could in enthusiasm.

Her and Jayden go upstairs, still talking about her game, as Trey comes and sits next to me. I made no eye contact, in fact I closed my eyes trying to clear my head.

"What's wrong?" He asks squeezing my hand.

"Nothing I'm fine." I pull my hand away from him slowly and can already see him staring me down, through my closed eyes.

He got up going upstairs. I blinked from the tears trying to form. I knew something was wrong with me, in my heart. But, I couldn't say. Could I?



















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