The Avalon Institute For Supernatural Beings (AISB)

Chapter 29: If It Came Down To That

"Remy." I gasped out.

Nathan, understanding what I was saying, slowly lifted the child off my lap and placed him under the sheets, where he cuddled and slept.

When Nathan sat down, I crawled over to his lap and wound my legs around him, placing my lips on his trying to forget what I heard Nathan say to Maya.

Serves me right for eavesdropping. 

Nathan's hands rubbed my back, like he understood something had upset me. His hands landed on my waist and applied pressure pushing me back. I tried to fight it, but he was way too strong for me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I shook my head and leaned back, sighing.

"Baby?"

I pressed the heel of my hands to my eyes.

"I heard..."

"Heard?" Nathan asked, prying my hands off my eyes.

"You and Maya." I spit out before I chickened out.

I expected his face to take on a mask, but nothing changed. His eyes were still still dark green, but not from anger...but from something entirely different, that was really inappropriate to think about now. He hadn't stilled or clenched his muscles or in anyway indicated that he was in distress. 

Motivated by this, I forced myself to continue.

I could totally do this.

"Yeah...so um I heard that-"

"You heard me say that I killed someone?" Nathan asked.

I could totally not do this.

I blinked, surprised that my mate was being so ... calm about this. I would've been pooping bricks if I were telling him that I'd killed someone.

"We are talking about you killing someone right?" I asked, confused.

Nathan sighed, letting go of my waist to run his fingers through his hair.

"As an Alpha, it's in-built in me to protect my pack. And any crime I've committed was always and only for my Pack. It may not justify the fact that I've killed-"

I pressed my finger to his lips, understanding where he was going with this.

"I get it, sort of. I get how you'd kill to protect the people you love." I said, because no matter how sick it made me feel that I would be the cause of someone's death...someone who was a parent, a son...or someone else's Nathan; if it came down to it I would die to protect Nathan.

And, even though I wouldn't want to, if it went down further, I would kill to save him. It may sound savage, cruel and worse, inhuman. But I would do it. It would kill me, but I would do it if there were no other choice when it came to the people I loved.

A fierce anger uncoiled itself in me, raising its ugly head when I thought about my loved ones getting hurt.

Nathan looked like he had something more to say when a timid knock sounded on the door.

Nathan sighed, rubbing his forehead like he was developing a headache. I tilted my head, wondering who was causing such a reaction in him.

"Death isn't something so easy, baby," Nathan said "it scars the soul and somehow... no matter the reason for which you may have done it, you regret it and you wish things were different and you wish...you weren't the one who needed to pull the trigger."

The grief, pain and self-loathing in his voice pulled at my heart and I almost teared up.

"Nathan." Ruby's muffled low voice came through the door.