Over and Over (Lashton)

Hurt

(A/N) Self-harm ahead! Please don't read if it's going to trigger you, I don't want that at all :( For the rest of you, enjoy. It's not how I thought it would turn out, but it's an okay chapter, I guess. Sorry I didn't spend more time on it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything.

~Johnny Cash (originally by Nine Inch Nails), "Hurt"

Luke’s POV

When I wake up, I feel like someone’s been driving nails into my skull and like snails crawled over my tongue. There’s so much pressure in my head that it might implode. I swallow thickly and sit up. My eyes feel puffy and I rub away some of the salt residue. This is by far the worst hangover I have ever had.

I go into the bathroom to wash my face. The cold water is a relief to my headache, but only temporarily. Once the water dries, the pounding is back. At least the dried tear tracks are gone. I brush my teeth to get rid of the awful vomit/alcohol taste in my mouth. The mint toothpaste helps a little, but not enough. I walk out to the kitchen.

Ashton’s sitting on the counter, and Calum and Michael are sitting at the table. I groan and run a hand through my hair.

“Hey,” Ashton says glumly.

I grunt in response and head straight for the aspirin on the counter. Once I take one, the pain recedes only slightly.

“So,” Michael says, leaning back in his chair. “Do either of you want to know what happened last night?”

“Not particularly,” I mutter at the same time that Ashton says, “Please don’t.”

“Well, you’re in for a treat, because we’re happy to tell you,” Calum says. This is his revenge for making him take care of us. I really don’t want to hear what I did or said last night. I’m sure I let spill a lot of really embarrassing secrets, and judging by the look on Ashton’s face, he probably did too. I’m just hoping I didn’t say anything about Ashton.

“Michael, care to go first?” Calum offers.

“Well, I had the lovely matter of dealing with Ashton,” he says, and Ashton looks pained. “Turns out Ashton had three drinks. He kept muttering things about not feeling good enough. Also, apparently he can’t solve a Rubik’s cube. He tried to kiss someone on the way out. Then he passed out in the van.”

Ashton has a “Why did I wake up” look on his face.

“But that’s nothing compared to Luke,” Calum says with a bright smile. “Luke had five drinks, decided to talk about how he needed to save everyone, decided to cry for half an hour, and then as soon as we stepped out of the van, puked twice into the bushes. You’re damn lucky there were no cameras.”

My face is flaming. I’m fairly sure that to spare me, Calum omitted half of what I said, because I do remember some of it.

“So, boys,” Michael says, snatching away the pill bottle, “you are both officially done with alcohol. You both drank way more than you should have and I for one am sick of hauling your weepy asses home.”

“Amen, sista,” Calum adds, seconding it. I groan and Ashton looks like he’ll be sick.

“Don’t,” I beg.