A Grasshopper walks into a bar. . .the bartender says "HEY! we have a drink named after you!" the grasshopper replies. "You have a drink named Larry?"
how many elephants can you fit in a VW Beatle? Four. Two in the front and two in the back.
How many girraffs can you fit in a Beatle? None, it;s already full of elephants.
How many whales can you fit in a Beatle? Two one on the right and one on the left.
How do you get the whales in a Beatle? Like you get them into any other car. Drive the car over the SanFransisco Bay Bridge.
How do you know when you have an elephant in your fridge? You see little footprints in the butter.
How do you know when you have two elephants in your fridge? You hear the giggles when the lights go out.
How do you know when ther are three elephants in your fridge? You can't quite get the door closed.
How do you know when you have four elephants in your fridge? There is a Beatle parked out front.
How many computer geeks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? UUHHH n-n-none that's a hardware problem.
How many Pentecostals does it take to change a lightbulb? Ten one to change it and nine to pray against the darkness.
Why don't carnivores eat clowns? They taste funny
How many of each animal did Moses take on the ark? None Noah is the one that had the ark.
Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, I wanna stop going in circles. Hush or I'll nail your other shoe to the floor
Two muffins in an over one says to the other "Phew it's hot in here!" the other muffin says "AAAAAHHHH!!!! A talking muffin!!"
Do you know why they call a purple with green ploka doted dragons-ass a NIMBY? Because everyone that sees it thinks Not In My BackYard!
Did you know Tennis was mentioned in the Bible? "Joseph served in Pharaoh's court"
Do you know who the shortest prophet in the Bible was? Nehemiah (knee high miah)
Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
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Thoughts From My Insanity
HumorI attempt to reveal to you the thought processes (or the lack thereof) within my cranium. I may not be known as a completely insane person, but I do tend to think in a strange, funny, and altogether weird way. To say the least this collection is not...
