Realisatians

Chapter One

Shaking Becca gets out of her seat, walks up the aisle of her school hall between plastic chairs squeaking as people fidget as people are apt to do when in a neverending assembly. It's raining outside but that's no surprise British weather will never improve. She can see the big wooden boards with the head girls that came before her's names engraved in the brightest of golds. It is silent within the hall but she can feel the weight of judgement on her back. If you've ever been in an all girls school you'll understand the weight that Becca feels.

The walls rise above her, intimidating and she is still headed to the altar with the large rose window behind. She ascends the steps, one, two, three, the shaking worsens, but she has to do this even if it loses her this coveted position of head girl. Thinking this she realises that somethings are simply required of a person. She opens her tattered notebook which contains her confession, her realisatians, herself as she is the best version of herself and places it on the podium by the altar. Slowly, shakingly, she opens her mouth to speak:

"Rachel and Claire have made me realise that it's okay to mess around, to be unapolageticly who you are and that dirty jokes and innuendo can be the best kind of jokes, like cry with laughter and those kind of jokes tend to be our inside jokes."

She says this looking directly at two of her friends; people that literally have no boundaries - with anyone! And one of them makes a hell of a lot of gay jokes which would probably be offensive if she wasn't pan.

"Maddie and Karis have shown me that friendships break and friendships mend and to keep on living while that happens. Also it's impossible to get along with some people but you can learn to get along with others."

She looks at the two she's talking about as she speaks and there they are, Maddie hanging off Karis like a leech with Nika and Karis non-stop talking, what a surprise!

"Nika and Sunni have shown me how to love something with all your heart at a whisper or so loud Australia could hear. They've shown most people that if you pay attention.

Mari and Ellis have shown all of us to get on with your life falling in and out of love can be the best thing and that way even if the wrong people care you can become immune because when you don't shout something from the rooftops people tend to not notice, especially something like this in our school."

She stands there positively quaking as she says this there is no way she wants to upset those two because they're such good friends to her. Although she knows that Mari is fine as she knows what she was going to say, Ellis's reaction means a lot.

Ellis smiles.

She breathes a sigh of relief.

"Jen has taught me something which everyone here knows I needed to learn, when to remain silent and when to speak your mind.

Chayla has taught me that persistent niceness-is that even a word-is sometimes the way and that strong friendships can be built off the smallest snatched minutes of conversation.

Teresa has shown me that work ethic can be everything but Sophie has shown me that having a laugh is all to important as well."

Now comes the hardest part.

"Cora, Cora, what can I say about Cora? Well, for one thing she has taught me a hell of a lot, more that I would have thought possible for someone who probably has bigger issues than most and is as fucked up as I am. Cora's taught me that you can do a million things and still have a social life but it sure as hell isn't good for your head. She's taught me you can deal with hospital visits and therapy and the like but will always need a friend. She's taught me that sometimes you've got to make the first step in a friendship. She was my first friend in this hole. But the most important thing Cora's taught me is that a person will always need someone to rely on, to lean on, to rant to and even if you don't exactly realise who that person is.

That person will always be there through thick and and thin, ready to talk in the middle of the night even if they don't expect their friend to call them like that. They will be there. Cora is the first one who made my walls come down."

Come on, Becca you can do this it is only school. you are leaving after this, this is your last speech as head girl. Come on, come out even if it is just as a big old screw you to this uptight, religous, catholic school.

"Life is hard without friends and these people have redeemed so many parts of mine along with others that don't go to this school. Let's be real that's mainly 'cause they're guys or live far."

Becca steps down from the podium, shaking gone and feeling confident her friends are fine with what she's done and know what's coming next.

She moves to the centre. All eyes are on her but the weight has lifted. She proclaims to the crowd,

"My name is Becca Charles and I am Asexual Panromantic and proud. No, that does not make me any less human as I know some of you think it does. I am sure some of you are wondering what it means. What it means is that I simply don't want sex, I can fall in love; Love Is Not Sex, Love Is Love. The panromantic part means I don't care about the gender of whoever it is I fall in love with they are just them.

On this subject, Cora, you don't have a date do you?"

A "No" is spoken from somewhere within the audience.

"Ok the, Cora will you come with me tonight?"

A "Yes" full of disbelief is spoken and she gets out her seat and walks out the room. Becca is no idiot she knows what is coming but follow Cora anyway. After all if you had a chance with the girl of your dreams wouldn't you go after them.

Smack. Becca's been slapped. The words "What was that?" explode out of Cora's mouth for a small person she can be loud.

"Err... I have kind of had a massive crush on you for the past three years but you wouldn't even look at me because I told you I'm Ace," she quickly confessed.

"Oh," she is quiet now.

"Ranting to you countless times about my love life must be sore"

"No, at least. I got to be friends with you."

"Are you kidding we're still friends and we can go together tonight but as friends. I didn't want to say it in there because it would be too cruel to let my best friend breakdown in front of that many witches."

Becca crumples to the floor.

Stop talking about yourself in third person it's so weird.

I crumpled to the floor and started to shake, they said she loves me too, they said she loves me too.

Cora crouches down whispers and apology and helps me up we walk off together but apart our friendship is no longer the same.