For the Love of Wattpad, Learn to Write!!!

Plotting Problems and Clichéd Plots.

I think we've all made mistakes when we were first coming up as writers.

We mixed up the color of a character's eyes. We mistyped a word or two and didn't notice. We changed a character's name and forgot; I get it. We, truly, all make mistakes; but, most of them are avoidable, like bad plotting.

Nothing screams "newb writer" more than plot lines that just don't add up. The only way to tackle this monstrosity of a topic is to list out the ones that plague Wattpad like Moses did Pharaoh. If we don't get this under control soon, the death angel is coming for some of your firstborns.

1.) The girl instantly falls in love and moves in with the guy (or something to that affect).

No. Just...no. It does not happen that way, and some of these stories are giving me whiplash with how fast the turn of events go. It's like: girl sees boy then BOOM they are in love (this does not apply to the mating bond in some vamp and werewolf stories). That's what we call LUST, sweetie.

A more proper, and believable, way to introduce a whirlwind romance is to have the girl infatuated. Let her think about the hot, mysterious guy for a few days. Keep their interactions short in the beginning and build them into that big bang (not the sack type of bang. Heads outta the gutter, folks). Your readers will lose interest if you give them everything they want right away.

Let the audience feel the strain of not being able to talk to that hot guy (or girl), let the tension build until the rubber band snaps and the story takes a turn toward resolution. Trust. Me. Your readers will love you for it.

2.) Parental units that are...abnormal.

I don't mean "abnormal" in the sense that they occasionally sprout a second pair of lips and talk from both sets; no, I mean the type that are the "anything goes" parents. They rarely exist in real life, and if it's part of your overall plot to have them be peers as opposed to authority figures, for the love of all things Wattpad, MAKE. IT. BELIEVABLE. Set the story up and focus more on the parents and their relationship with the MC (main character). Insert a flashback from a time the parent(s) acted contrary to their expected role; but, don't just have your MC coming home, telling their parents they're throwing a kegger and have the saps go out and buy the booze. No. Not believable. Set your story up so the reader thinks, "Hmm. Yeah. I could totally see that."

This, among a few other things, will make me close a book and never reopen it. I know you want to get to that all-too-important climax, but just chill. It will come. If you can't wait, write it out first. There's no rule saying you have to write your story in chronological order.

3.) Most women love the stories about billionaires doting on their average women; but, let me be clear: no billionaire, on a whim, is going to go and buy a girl he's barely known a day a Ferrari. Billionaires are billionaires for a reason—they know how to manage their money and are protective of it. Please, if someone knows where I can find a billionaire that is willing to waste several hundred thousand dollars on a whim, give him my phone number, address, social security number, blood type...whatever he wants, he can have it.

4.) I've noticed that not a lot of wattpad plots are very original; especially in the romance, vamp, werewolf, and fan fiction categories.

            a.) girl meets vampire clan leader and becomes his mate.

            b.) girl meets lycan lord (alpha) and he mates her or rejects her.

            c.) girl falls for damaged bad boy and goes against everyone's wishes to date him.

Basically, what we have is a group of girls falling for the same things. What's wrong with the Will Turner's? We all have to have a Commodore Norrington? Do we all need a Gideon Cross (I have to admit...one of these doesn't sound too bad)? Why can't we be happy with the average Joe? Yes, it makes for an interesting story, but it's one we've all heard before, just the names and psychological disorders have been replaced.

The saying goes, "There's nothing new beneath the sun", and it's true. You can't possibly dream up a story that hasn't been on the bookshelves in one form or another, but why do some books win out and others collect dust (or not get reads, in this case)? Because the ones that challenge the cookie cutter norms get noticed. They are the books that stick with peoples' hearts. They are the stories that make people think. It's very easy to sit and enjoy a book, but to have a book become part of you...to have it pierce you to your soul...it has to be born of something other than the generic Twilight remakes, 1D fan fiction, and Justin Beaver (yeah, I know his name is Beiber) bologna that are flooding this site. If you write these types of stories, I mean no offense. It's just that some of these stories are, truly, awful and unoriginal.

5.) Do not have your MC waking up as the opening unless it has a specific purpose. If the person is waking up inside of a padded cell in the heart of an insane asylum and they have no clue how they got there, THAT is purposeful. If they're just waking up as a regular part of their day, that is boring.

6.) Don't open your book with a dream. I get MAD when I read several pages and come to find out it was a dream. It's like, "What are you playin' at? Why did you do this to me?" Yes. It gets that serious.

7.) Don't be a fan girl. Now, this is coming from a fan girl, in the extreme; so, I get it. I fan girl about many things, but they all have their time and place. I mention some of my personal likes in my Wattpad story on different occasions, but it can't be blaringly obvious and overdone. If you have more than one pop culture reference per page, it's probably erring on the side of too much and will seem forced. If it doesn't flow, leave it out or find a new place for it.

8.) Too much description. It will slow your plot down and bore the reader. Of course, us favoring the fantasy genre have to describe things in more detail because we're building worlds from scratch or describing one already established in another work (like Middle Earth, Wonderland, Hogwarts, etc.) but we don't need to know certain things. "The sky was a beautiful shade of blue...not like royal blue...that would've been bad. It was a shade of sky blue...like the sky, because it was the sky. There were very little clouds and the temperature was 78.95 degrees. The birds flew in a northwest (not Kimye's daughter) pattern, their wings flapping and emitting a noise that I can't quite name. I pushed my auburn to black ombre hair from my pale face, setting my green eyes on the hilly horizon"ß*NO*. Do not do this.

For one, there is way more "showing than telling" in this paragraph than I could've ever imagined I'd ever write (that may be our next lesson). Next, no one is going to describe their hair or eye color unless first asked, and the reader, usually, doesn't ask. When it becomes a normal part of the story, add it. Don't force it.

Exact numbers will kill your work. I mean, kill, for real. It will show up on the Dateline NBC lineup for vicious murders. Show your reader how hot it is. Is it so hot your tank top was sticking to your skin? Or was it so cold your breath made it appear like you had just blown the last puff from your cigarette? The reader will then form a relationship with your words, remembering times they were super hot or so cold they couldn't stand it. That's how the reader becomes invested in your story. If they can relate, they will keep reading.

I'm sure there are many, many more plot killers out here; but, these are the ones I saw that just make me want to drive a stake through my own heart. If you've made some of these mistakes, don't lose hope. Go back and correct them. Learn. Do better and become the writer you want to be.

Share with me your favorite (or least favorite, in this case) plot killers. I'm interested to hear the opinions of writers and readers alike.

Until next time, happy reading and happy writing!

*NJ

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Next part, I'm coming for craft offenders. Don't know what that means? Stay tuned.