Professor C (camren)

16 - Jauregui (Part 1)

"Wow...that long." Dinah pensively breathed, speaking mostly to herself. Somehow, the long process didn't make sense to her but another more important matter prodded her attention. There was no way of stopping it this time as the momentum had been increased. "Before I get this mixed up; let me get this straight. It was him, who filed for the annulment after he cheated, right?"

"Yeah...it frustrated him that I still didn't let him touch me after getting married and then knowing I'm not a virgin."

"Is it because he has a penis? Or was there something wrong with him?" She skeptically lowered her chin, looking at Lauren as if her friend was denying any involvement in a heinous crime. "You hooked up with people back in college..."

For a moment, Lauren hesitated to answer and was beginning to regret ever reassuring Dinah that it was okay to pry into details of her past while they were in a public place. Then again, she knew from both her professional opinion and personal experience that talking about it would be therapeutic.

Dinah is one of the very few people she trusted; might as well open up to her.

And Lauren was hopeful that through sharing, her healing would begin.

"They were all girls, though. Brunettes...with brown eyes..." Lauren stammered as she brushed a frustrated hand through her tresses; averting not just Dinah's smirk but the overall haughty expression she wore. She was utterly embarrassed that she was beginning to be slightly irritated but fought to maintain her composure. "I know, Dinah; Camila." She acknowledged reluctantly; beginning to feel the familiar devastation she was trying to escape.

The mention of her wanton frolics throughout her second and third year in college elicited a devastating blush to cloud Lauren's face that even her ears stung with heat. There was a significant part of her that wanted to erase memories and remnants of her college life altogether; concluding that those years were never kind to her anyway.

Of course, she forgot to look into the lessons she learned the hard way. But they were lessons anyway.

But when Camila left, it was as if the world abandoned Lauren.

She was so distraught and lost that forming bonds with new people became challenging and she chose to isolate herself in her dorm room. It seemed to have been the best way to cope with the overwhelming agony of heartbreak and guilt, which would nag her and remind her that it was all her fault; that if she tried hard enough, that if she gave what was left of her meager soul, Camila would still be physically with her even if she only possessed a speck of her time and affection.

None of that would matter because Lauren would be sure that Camila was safe. She would still be distant, but she'd be safe.

But when the silence became too loud and the deafening ringing would crawl in her skin, it pushed Lauren into committing most of her time going to parties for momentary amnesia-inducing alcohol and meaningless physical connection with various girls she thought would appease her longing. And every single morning, she would cry because she wasn't any closer to getting over her ex-girlfriend than she was just sitting in her room.

And being in college gave Lauren every excuse to forget her morals.

It got to the point where Lauren almost failed required courses and worried professors began to offer their professional services for free given her stellar performance on her freshman year. It was an insult that most of them, even her classmates, could easily deduce that Lauren's downfall was because Camila left. And yet, no one understood just how vast and devastating Camila's absence was.

And as recently revealed, Camila was acing classes as revenge while Lauren was flunking as she desperately tried to regain her old self.

Sitting right there, in that restaurant, Laruen was drenched with nostalgic sorrow that she wished to never feel again.