Professor C (camren)

18 - Aftertaste

***Happy Birthday to my dearest cousin, Regina, whose soul resembles my own! if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have considered fanfiction. Your asses owe her. jk jk 
PS: Sorry for the delay, I've been busy. :P 10,038 words without proofreading. Enjoy. 

There was a sense of pride surging through Camila's veins when she reduced the panel appraising her to seemingly mindless bobble heads, nodding at her every word. Her conceit had only been magnified when she answered question after question without missing a beat - only pausing for dramatic effect as if to taunt whoever questioned her genius.

She'd been too consumed in the subject of her dissertation for years to carelessly stumble upon a single word. Failing at the one thing she'd devoted her life to post-Lauren would have taken a toll on her, and her rage would have been unimaginable.

Camila relished in that exalting feeling while it lasted.

While the shield of her amazing Economics prowess remained intact, her mind was hindered; kept from wandering. She clung to it to distance herself from the emotional turmoil that had been plaguing her for years on end because this time, she had no one to blame but herself.

But it wasn't like Camila could only live and breathe with only her profession.

Unfortunately, reality was inescapable.

It's just funny how a single decision could drastically shape the future.

Sinu and Alejandro never pressured their daughter into leaving Lauren. Their opinions weren't even solicited; unlike Camila's relationship with Janette Zack, where they had forcefully demanded its end. Meanwhile, they loved Lauren despite the rough start and even stayed in touch with the young psychologist – maintaining a much healthier relationship.

In a way, Camila's autonomy had been a nuisance. Had her parents told her to stay with Lauren and mend what was broken, she would have. And at the time, Camila expected Lauren to understand, to unravel the tangles that were plaguing her.

But she left.

And Camila wanted to pin the blame entirely on Lauren but facts were against her. It was she who instigated the downfall of their relationship and never attempted to make a change. She had watched Lauren in despair, dreadfully trying to get through to her until hope had been washed out by her tears.

On the day Camila packed her bags and hauled everything to Indiana, she had turned her back on many things, on many people and essentially, on the life that her aching heart wanted.

She just wasn't ready for it at the time.

To her, she was leaving an empty apartment with memories she couldn't live with; memories that would only haunt her and pulverize the shards of her broken heart.

Tragically, she was experiencing the bitter aftertaste of her decision.

-

Camila was in a daze when she boarded her car.

It was definitely not because of the success of her dissertation, which she was supposed to slightly revise before she could hand it back to her own professor for publication; made available to academic institutions and the general public as a reference to similar studies. She could not help but feel as though she should have felt more sense of accomplishment, and that her thirst for greatness would have been quenched in the slightest.

But Camila concurred how her drive had only been fueled by revenge; by showing Lauren what she turned her back on when she left Camila in bed almost nine years prior.