Senior Year - jb

34. Blurry.

Friday 23rd of October, 2015

"You know what we should do? Or actually you. What you should do?" Casey sighed as we both walked down the hall to get to our lockers.

"What?" I replied, cocking my eyebrow.

"You really need something to do. You can go out again, so there's this party at-"

"Casey, no. I'm not going to parties." I rolled my eyes and put in my lockers door code.

Casey leaned against the lockers and exhaled loudly.

"What?" I lifted my hands in the air, confused because she was so disappointed.

"Oh come on! It's been almost two weeks now. You're still mourning." she tried to make a point.

I pressed my lips in a thin line and looked down, stopping my actions for a second.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't suppose to say it like that. You're allowed to be sad but at least do something fun for change." she placed her hand on my shoulder, stroking slowly.

It had indeed been almost two weeks since everything happened. And it had also been almost two weeks since I last saw Justin. He hadn't been in school during the whole time. I was worried. I was worried he wasn't going to come to school anymore but then again, why would he ditch? It wasn't like he was afraid to see me. He was a senior. He was almost 20 years old. He had the guts to do anything. And with anything I mean, also tricking 15 year olds into relationships. But I didn't like to think about it like that. It made him sound like a pedophile or something, when in reality he was just a confused previous high school drop out.

For me, I had been slowly recovering. Slowly but surely. And what helped me the most was that I had my Casey back. She tried to cheer me up everyday and she didn't even hang out with Katherine. Katherine heard about what happened also but her reaction surprised me the most. Casey told me that she was just disappointed because she taught 'Justin had learned a lesson to not play around with girls'. I didn't quite get it. Had Justin played girls before? Or did he play her? All the same, I didn't want to think about it. So anyways, Katherine didn't laugh at me when she heard about it. In fact she didn't say anything to me or about me. Maybe she was silently happy that me and Justin weren't a thing anymore and had a little bit of heart left in her body not to bully me about it. Almost everyone at school had dropped the subject, which was good. They still looked at me weirdly, though, pityingly. But at least they didn't say anything or laugh.

I felt like everything were starting to fine again. Like they were before high school. But I also knew that when I would see Justin again, I was going to be head over heels obsessed with him, and I hated that. I was scared of my own reaction. I had finally gotten rid of crying and waking up in the middle of the night, so I was scared that he was going to ruin everything. Since that was the only thing he did.

"Think about it, at least. I promise I won't ditch you in the crowd." Casey winked, smirking.

I rolled my eyes jokingly at her and pulled my bag out of my locker, putting my school books in there.

Maybe she was right. Maybe I did need a small break from mourning. Since I had indeed mourned a lot.

"Okay, fine. I will come. But I'm going home as soon as I feel bad or something." I threw my locker door shut.

"Great! You're not gonna regret it, I promise." she looked at me in-the-matter-of-factly as we walked to her locker.

"Who's house it is?" I asked her while leaning against the lockers.

It was my turn now to wait for her.

"I don't know. It was some sophomore's." she shrugged, "But everyone's coming, though."