Silent Love (PUBLISHED)

Chapter 12...

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I was wrong it could get more awkward.

Silence stretched out awkwardly between us. Tension was thick at our table you could almost cut it with a knife. Macey and Amy could clearly tell the two boys were not happy with me so they got on their phones leaving me to my own device. Traitors.

"So the weather is really nice isn't it?" I said playing with my hands on the table. I hated the feel of their gazes on me, it was making me uncomfortable and I kept shifting in my seat.

"Care to explain?" Luke finally said. I honestly didn't know what the big deal was it was clear Dylan was joking.

"There's nothing to explain." I said simply trying hard not to crumble under their heated stares. You would think I would be use to my brother being so protective but I wasn't. It still surprised me with Ethan as well.

"How do you know Gage Harper?" Ethan asked staring straight at me. I almost chocked on my spit at the mention of Gage. I was kind of hoping no one would say anything about it. It would be easier to explain how I knew Dylan than Gage.

"Why does it matter?" I found myself asking.

"Because it does!" He raised his voice but quickly lowered it after everyone glanced at him. My blue eyes looked at him wondering why he was getting so angry. So what if I knew Gage it wasn't like we were a thing. We just happen to have the same English class and the same hatred for one another, which made me also wonder why he helped me out with Dylan.

"Carter, Gage Harper is not a nice guy. He uses girls like toilet paper and doesn't care if he breaks their hearts." Luke said.

"But don't you two do the same thing?" I questioned raising an eyebrow at them.

"No not like he does. Carter he is someone you don't want to get mixed with. There is a reason he is called the 'bad boy' around campus." I glanced over at Ethan to see a dark look cross his face as he clenched his jaw. 

"Just promise us you won't hang out with him anymore." Ethan gritted out.

"We never hung out before." I muttered.

"What was that?" He asked.

"I said fine." A ball of anger was simmering in my stomach at being told what to do. I was 18 and in college for christ sake. I could do what I want but it seemed the two boys in my life didn't see that I could think for myself. Macey could tell how I felt for she put her hand on my knee. She and I both knew not to say anything to Luke or Ethan, they would just get even angrier.

"Car we are just looking out for you." Luke said softly clearly seeing how angry I was at him and Ethan at the moment. I didn't say anything and just stared out the window. It was stupid how I couldn't do anything without getting permission from my brother. I know he doesn't want me to get hurt but how was I suppose to experience life when he kept me in a box? Getting hurt came with the territory of life. Everyone got hurt in some way or another but you just have to accept it and more forward.

In a weird way I almost craved to be hurt. Just so I could experience it and learn from it. Being cheated on by my first boyfriend hurt, way more than I would ever admit but it made me stronger. It made me realize that holding onto something you love can sometimes destroy everything you've built around yourself. That sometimes thing aren't as you think or hope them to be.

I've never told my brother my thoughts about this because he wouldn't understand. He was the oldest and a guy. He didn't have a brother and his best friend breathing down his neck. He didn't have the obligation to always be the perfect one in the family, he was already perfect. In some ways Luke always was able to do what he pleased. He could go to parties and never get in trouble with our parents, but if I so much as set a foot in a party Luke was breathing down my neck demanding I go home. Luke could have as many girlfriends as he wanted, even if I didn't like them I didn't say a word letting him be. But the moment I got a boyfriend he had to tell me to dump him, or if I had a guy look at me he would go tell him to leave me alone.