Your The Only Drug I Need

I threw down my keys on the table next to the door. It had been a long day, the teeny weeny pop stars who's CD cover I was doing would not cooperate and called me an emo freak. I mean sure I had pink hair and snake bites but I dressed professionally. Ugh, it didnt matter anyways. All I wanted to do was curl up with my dog and my boyfriend, Ronnie Radke. We had been going out for a year, I met him when I did the cover for Dying Is Your Latest Fashion two years ago. I scratched Charlie's head and started making my way to the kitchen when I heard moaning coming from mine and Ronnie's bedroom. I stopped, I may only be 23 and Ronnie may be my first boyfriend, but I wasn't naive. I quietly walked to the door, Charlie whining from the hallway. "RONNIE!" I heard as I opened the door. I closed my eyes as I took in the sight in front of me, Ronnie, my boyfriend, was thrusting in some blonde who was moaning like a class A whore. "Maybe next time you decide to fuck someone it would be a good idea to make sure it's not in your girlfriends bed. And I expect both of you gone by tonight." I spat at them before turning on my heel and walking away. I didn't even wait for either of theirs reaction. Charlie whined softly and pawed at my shoe, "Aww don't worry boy. Mommy will be back soon." I assured him before grabbing my jacket and getting in my car. That was two weeks ago. Since it was my apartment I kicked Ronnie out and kept Charlie, I'm pretty sure he moved in either Max or Montes place. I was sitting at my dads house just staring at a letter in my hand. I just found out that he had been sent to prison last week. The only thing I knew was that he was caught with drugs but that's about it. I missed him, I really did. He was my everything. I loved him and I thought he loved me. "Love Ronnie" ugh! The letter that I'm staring at Ronnie sent me. That's how I found out he was in prison, he sent it saying that he's sorry and when he cheated on me he was drunk and high. He said that he knew it would take a lot for me to forgive him and for what it's worth I was the only drug he needed and that he should have realized that sooner. I groaned and threw my head back on the couch softly. "Hey you okay Em?" I opened my eyes to see my dad looking at me worriedly. I started to nod before quickly shaking my head. He sighed and opened his arms and let me fall into them. He rubbed my back in soothing motions, I noticed tears leaking out if my eyes. Of course, when wasnt I crying these days? "Is it still him?" He whispered into my hair. Everyone in the house(Uncle Mike, Uncle Rick, Aunt Missy, and my two cousins) knew what had happened between me and Ronnie and they also knew he went to prison. I nodded digging my face deeper into his shoulder. I heard him sigh again, I knew it wasn't easy for him. He raised both me and my twin brother by himself, my mom died in a plane crash when we were 2. And he was still struggling especially now that I started dating. I know I'm 23 and it's not like I'm a hideous old hag but I have mild social anxiety and it was worse in high school. "What do you want to do?" He asked pulling back to look into my eyes. I looked down shielding my face with my recently dyed dark purple hair. I knew what I wanted to do but I was scared to tell him. "I want to go see him, dad." I whispered waiting for him to tell me that it was just a break up and to get over it and him already. But I was shocked when I felt him nod. "Then go." He said simply. "But I'm scared. I'm terrified of what will happen if I do." I said wiping my eyes only for more tears to come. "Would you rather in five or so years and look back asking your self "Why did I do that?" Or "Why didn't I do that?" I can't tell you what to do but you never know what will happen, it could be the best thing you ever did." He said before standing up and kissing the top if my and walking back up that stairs. I looked at Ronnie's letter one more time before I got up deciding what I was going to do.