A Shade of Cool

XXIII: The Silver Locket

We pulled into Ana's driveway where her Father's Volkswagen hummed quietly, her Mom and Ana herself stood by the car, loading boxes into the back, stumbling through the snow. We pulled up beside the truck and Mom halted the car, shutting off the engine. Climbing out, I stepped cautiously around the truck to Ana.

"Hey!" I called through the whistling breeze of the snow.

Turning, she attempted a run, hugging me tightly, "Jacob! I thought you'd never show!"

I closed my eyes, embracing her, "How could I not?" We held each other for a few seconds before parting, sharing a smile. She looked a bit more lit up than usual, like a piece of her had returned; a very small piece.

"I don't know... I just supposed... I don't know," She shrugged.

"We'll leave you two to say goodbye," Her Mom told us as she beckoned my Mom into the house, the two of them, followed by her Dad, in a quick hushed conversation. I watched for a second before looking at Ana and sighing, "Well Avery's gone and now you too, must be my year, huh?" I tried to make light of it before remembering that I hadn't told Ana yet.

"Already?" She said, trying to laugh but it wasn't heartfelt as it used to be.

"Yeah, but, uh, Mom's okay and Marissa is coming home in a couple of days. I guess that's positive, huh?" I said. I remembered the first time Avery ran away, the first person I ran to was Ana. Ana lived five blocks away from me but I didn't care. I'd run to her house and climb the wooden fencing that supported her Mom's rose bush and I'd rap on the window. Within seconds, Ana would open the window and pull me in.

"Again?" She'd put her hand on her hip, sassy bitchface inserted.

"Again," I nodded and planted myself onto her bean bag by her bed, just thirteen, rocking the old Justin Bieber haircut. She'd throw herself down next to me and return to her show - typically Drake & Josh or ICarly. Then we'd go into a long debate of which episode was better and what character we were most like before sinking into deeper conversation.

I stared at that fence and kind of smiled to myself.

Memories last forever, but sadly, people don't, I thought to myself.

"She'll be fine, you found her last time and she was okay. At least we know she's in a good place..." Ana gave a sympathetic smile and a pat on the shoulder. Throwing myself from my thoughts, I returned back to the conversation.

"Anyway, about you," I took her hand from my shoulder and held it in mine, "Are you going to be okay?"

She sighed deeply and nodded, taking a moment before replying, "Yes, I think so at least. I mean, on the brochure it says 'Stay and-" She stopped, a tear breaking her focus. Taking her hand from mine, she cupped her face.

"Hey, hey, hey!" I took her by her arms and took her hand away to reveal her tears, "You'll get better! You have to get better, things will-"

"You don't get it," She took herself from me quickly, "I'm not just crying because of this shit... I'm crying because... I can't leave you. Not here, not alone. Not after everything that I've done, not after what I've said."

"I told you, it's forgiven-"

"I can't forgive myself. That's the problem. I can't move on from this. I can't return to being your bestfriend because of all this fucked up stuff. What I said to you, is that a true friend? I let that asshole hit you, lay a finger on you! Call you all those names and then, then I said stuff and no true friend should ever even think of saying!" She sobbed. I understood and I got what she was saying. But she was my friend and had been since we were kids, how can I not forgive her? We'd gone through so much that the girl could literally stab me in the back, face and chest and I'd still be loyal to her.