A Shade of Cool

X: All or Nothing

"I'm home!" I called out, walking through to the kitchen where Marissa was bent over a pumpkin. I'd forgotten it was Halloween, that was like me most of the time. Halloween nights consisted of popcorn, candy and a horror marathon, but this year I had too much on my mind. I'd pussied out of telling Noah all day, we studied together, ate lunch together, got the bus together and I still found myself hesitating and pretending I'm okay.

"Hey!" Avery and Marissa called, Avery sitting on the counter as she read out the instructions to 'carve a pumpkin', "So you gotta... um, stab it into the outline and uh... start yanking it? I think?" She pointed to the picture of a boy slicing into a pumpkin, "What is he doing?" She asked Marissa.

"Exactly what I'm asking you to tell me to do!" Marissa complained.

I started toward the stairs, "I'll just leave you guys to it, then-"

"Hoooold up!" Marissa looked over her shoulder, "You ain't getting out of this. Tonight's movie night, a night in which we sit together and be a family!"

"Good luck," I told her.

"Oh and i suppose you have anything better to do?" Avery cocked a brow, placing the instructions on the kitchen side. I rolled my eyes and dropped my bag onto the floor before walking over to them, "Fine!" I sighed.

It was great how much mutilating pumpkin felt. All that pent up anger I had at Eric and Ana, the heart ache for Noah and the worry for my Mom was vanishing faster than invisible ink. Stabbing, pulling, slicing and cutting, we had managed three well carved pumpkins that sat menacingly outside our door by a bowl of candy and a sign reading: 'COME GET IT YOU LITTLE BASTARDS' (Avery's wording).

I headed to my room, getting ready to begin our couch night followed by our marathon of horror films and excessive buffet of food. Suddenly I heard a knock, turning I hurried to the door and opened it ajar, "Yeah?"

"It's just me," Avery told me, "Can I come in?"

I nodded and pulled the door further open for her, "Yeah, come in," I told her. She walked and jumped onto my bed, smiling at me and jerking her head for me to come over.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I think I should be asking you that, don't you?" She asked, "After all, you were the one who dragged me here, I think it's time I play sister again."

Sighing, I looked down, "I'm fine."

"Said the most unfine boy I've ever seen," She shook her head slightly, "You know, you really convinced me back there." I gave her a look of question, "That you might have actually been okay. Then I saw how much pleasure you were taking in fucking up that pumpkin. Plus I'm the queen of fucked up and I don't want you taking my crown."

I ignored her laugh and shrugged, "I just got a lot on my mind..."

"Is this about a certain gorgeous boy who shares the name of a familiar Ark builder?" She asked me.

I broke a grin and tried to hide it by looking the opposite direction to her, "Kinda... I just gotta sort something out... and Ana..."

"Ah, the trouble of being an angsty, hormonal ridden teen!" Avery said, "Well, I gotta say love and friendship are two very important things it ain't helpful to put one above the other. But we both know you and Ana are more than friends, you guys have been Batman and Robin since you were both five! That's thirteen years, Buddy. You can't exactly forget all that."

"Kinda like you with us then," I said.

"No, that's different. That's because it's a problem that's cut too deep, those ones take time. This? This is fresh, it's a new fight. Solve it before it becomes too complicated and you end up not knowing what you've done wrong," She sighed, "That girl is a tough nut and yeah, she may be dating a jackass, but that's really not your problem."