Sooner (One Shots) ALYDEN

2 AM

I hate you. And I love you. It's like I wanted to push you off the cliff,

then rush down to catch and save you.

------

Present

                She took off her reading glasses and massage her forehead. Her eyes are tired for reading more than three straight hours. She stood up and made herself a coffee, and chose to settle in the chair beside the window instead of going back upstairs in her study desk. She chose not to turn the light since the moon is so bright it illuminates the dark living room. It's almost 2 AM, the clock ticks. She'll have her final exam for advance anatomy and physiology later and she just can't afford to fail it. She already fell short in the midterm exam so it's the finals which will seal her fate.

              Dennise is in her house inside an exclusive subdivision. It's her own house since it was given to her by her father, a birthday gift. It wasn't huge actually. Two bedrooms, a small kitchen, a comfortable living space and a garage. She already told her Dad she'll prefer a house than a condo unit because she realized that earthquakes could hit anytime and high rise buildings will not be a safe choice. Call her unsensical but she doesn't care.

              The air conditioning unit was off but her bare skin from a black tank top isn't spared from the cold December breeze. She shivered a little and smelled the aroma of her coffee. The mere smell already woke her senses. It was black, no sugar but with condense milk, a lot of it. She smiled a little. It wasn't originally her type of coffee. She's more of a hot milk kind of girl. But she's so used of making it for a dear friend it became her favorite too.

          A drop of sadness suddenly swarmed her heart as she steady her gaze to the mug. Is this still her favorite coffee? She never saw her again drinking that mix. She wanted to ask her many times, but she felt she doesn't have the right anymore. Her "right" to her seemed to vanish the night the phenom slammed the door shut in their dormitory room, while she fell to the floor and cried her heart out. That faithful night, Dennise was wasted with tears, while the girl who left was wasted with a broken heart.

         The clock strikes at 2. Dennise sigh. She should be thinking about her upcoming exam. She should be memorizing anatomical structures. She should be hypothetically guessing the possible questions and essays her professor might throw. But she can't. Because it's 2 A.M.

And her 2 A.M. thoughts are not for carpals and axilla. It's for Alyssa.

They say, past midnight thoughts aren't thoughts anymore. They are pieces of you no one has ever seen, for you never dared to show them. They didn't come from the mind, instead, they are echoes of your heart. They are the things you buried deep in the abyss by day time, to face the reality you never dreamed of. But as everything went silent after 12, they are the ghosts that haunt you, effortlessly passing through the walls you've built to protect yourself from pain.

Memories are the most clever trickster, Dennise thought. You can toss and turn them, anytime and as often as you want. You can know every detail from where it began, where it ended, and what happened in between. You can remember every painful drop of tears and every last note of genuine laughters. Yet every time you dared to lay a hand in them, there will still be edges to cut you open and maybe, still bleed you dry.

Her thoughts are startled by an approaching car engine. She waited to get a view of the car as it agitate the empty street. It was a red chevy, and it slowed down as it pass by her house. It didn't stop, but it was slow enough for Dennise to see the person behind the steering wheel.

It was 2 A.M and your car window's down

You pass my street

The memories start