Begging on Your Knees Someday

Chapter 25: Going Insane

It was as if all my insecurities and my doubts were coming back to haunt me in the worst way possible.

I wanted to scream stop! But it was no use; it was as if I was suffocating and unable to breath or speak…

“We could never be together…because if we are, the truth will come out eventually…that you're nothing without me, your brothers, your makeup, and your little fancy clothes…” he said and I just shook my head as he laughed at me with this deep chilling laugh that scared me in so many ways. I opened my mouth and I screamed as loud as I could but nothing came out as I tried to move away from him but it was as if I was stuck on the ground.

He came closer to me with this devious smile that sent chills through my body, the closer he got the louder I tried to scream and scream…

“Baby…” I heard distantly.

“Baby!” I heard again and that’s when I opened my eyes and I saw all 5 of my brothers standing in front of me looking so worried.

I was breathing heavily as I felt the tears falling down my cheeks; I realized that was not a dream at all, but a terrible nightmare.

Alex and Aiden were on the bed sitting beside me trying to calm me down, while Michael and John brought me water, and Chris stood there with a bat.

“Baby it was just a nightmare…” Michael said as he sat up against the backboard and held me against his chest.

“Don’t worry…” John said as he kneeled down on the floor beside me.

“Yeah sis, we got you…” Alex said as Aiden nodded.

“Uhm…Yeah…” Chris said as he tried to hide the bat behind him.

“Are you okay?” He asked as he sat in my rocking chair on the other side of my bed and I nodded.

“It’s been so long since you’ve had any nightmares Baby…” Michael said. Apparently after my parents died I used to have nightmares every night until I was 13, and it was the same one of coming home after school returning to an empty house. I couldn’t find any of my brothers anywhere…and I would just scream for them and cry.

My brothers would then come into my room and wake me up and stay with me just as they were now.

“I know…but it wasn’t the same one.” I said and I nodded and they could tell it was something I didn’t want to talk about.

No matter how many times I insisted that I was fine and it was okay for my brothers to leave they still stayed surrounding me.

When I awoke the 3rd time that night the sun was finally shining brightly, and my brothers were asleep all over my room.

John was asleep on the floor, Chris was asleep on the rocking chair holding his bat close to his chest, Michael was asleep beside me sitting up against the backboard, and Aiden laid half on the bed and half off, while Alex slept across Aiden at the bottom of the bed.

To be honest it was a pretty comical picture, until I remembered the nightmare that scared me half to death for so many different reasons.

It brought up feelings that I’ve been trying to ignore for most of my life, but also brought up the insecurities and doubts that I never admitted aloud to anyone…

When I looked over to the clock I saw it 9 a.m and I knew that I had to get out of this house.

For some reason I didn’t think I was able to face Mason at the moment, because I was afraid…