The Perks Of Being Amanda Summerlyn

Chapter 17: The Cold Shoulder

I sigh, blowing air out of my cheeks. "Okay," I say. "Here's the truth: I've been hanging out with Oliver Lockwood."

Ally stops the car and I nearly go plummeting into the windshield even though I have my seat belt on. I look out the window. She has pulled over to the side of the street. "Oliver Lockwood?" she asks, looking at me. "You've been hanging out with Oliver Lockwood?" I nod, putting a strain of hair behind my ear.

"How long has this been going on?" she asks, her hands gripping the steering wheel.

"Ever since the Halloween party," I answer.

I hear her gasp and feel her eyes burn into the side of my face. "So this has been going on before you even broke up with Ricky?" she asks.

"We weren't doing anything more than just hanging out," I say. "We went to the movies with his friends one night and-"

"So you've been hanging out with his friends too?" Ally asks. 

I'm silent, staring at the carpeted floor. 

"Are they any better than us?" she asks softly. 

"Than you, not really," I answer honestly, "but better than Lindsay and the rest, yes. They're nicer and they're incredibly cool people."

"How come you never told me about this?" she asks, looking at me. Her eyes hold hurt and betrayal.

Aw, man. I screwed up big time. "I thought you wouldn't have understood," I say, twiddling my fingers.

"What wouldn't I understand?" she says loudly, banging her hand down on the dashboard. The sound makes me jump in my seat.

"But also because I didn't know what you would think or if you would start rumors," I admit.

"Amanda, I would never do that to you," Ally says, sounding hurt. "Why would you think something like that?"

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "It just...came, I guess. But it's not just with you. It's with everyone."

"Everyone like who?" she asks, looking at me angrily.

"Lindsay, Ricky, Rose..." I trail off, assuming she gets the point.

"So you've kept this thing a secret all because you were afraid of what people would think?" she asks. "About what I would think? Your best friend?"

"I-I know it's stupid-"

"It is stupid, Amanda," she says. "Keeping something like this a secret. There are more important things to worry about than that. Haven't you ever thought I have shit going on? Shit that's important? Shit I haven't told anyone about? Like how I found out Ryan cheated on me with not one but three girls or my grandfather is in the hospital?"

I'm silent for a moment, staring at her. I feel incredibly guilty and extremely upset for her. "Ally, I-I'm so sorry," I say.

"It's fine," she says. "You wouldn't understand."

I'm suddenly filled with extreme rage as I look at her. "Don't you think I have secrets that are more important too?" I ask. "Like how Ricky is cheating on me with Ashley Marks and Lindsay?" Ally looks at me, her eyes wide with shock. "Or how Ricky lied to me and slept with Lindsay at the Halloween party?" I say. "Or how Lindsay threatened to spread horrible rumors about me if I spilled her secret?" I can't stop now. "Or how I don't even want to go to this party?" I say. "How I'm just going to this party just to spend time with Oliver since he's going and try to work up the freaking guts to bite the bullet and just kiss him?"

When I close my mouth, my heart is racing so fast I'm afraid I'll have a heart attack. Ally looks at me, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. She doesn't say anything. She just turns back in her seat, pull out of the driveway she pulled into, and we start moving again.