Soar Together (A Levi Fanfiction)

Erwin's Pickup Lines

Sooooo this is the 2nd part of 'back from hiatus'

ENJOOOYY 🌽🌽🌽🌽🌚🌚🌚

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Author's POV

That's when I noticed something was off.

I looked around the Blonde Commander's office and noticed the paper he was working on the wooden desk.

Erwin observed my every move as I approached the paper I mentioned earlier.

I lifted the paper off the desk and noticed Erwin straighten up. I cocked an eyebrow by his sudden reaction and continued to view the paper I was currently holding.

"I w-wouldn't read that i-if I were y-you.." Erwin stated, looking down at the cold pavements with a crimson tinted dust spreaded all over his face.

I ignored his warning since I was so interested in what Erwin writes in his free time.

In big and bold letters it said, "EreRi-liciousness (A gay fanfic written in an absolutely disturbingly detailed manner. Stickers included)"
"Oh, sweet jesus." I breathed out.

Erwin took the paper out of my hands and gave me a small smile.

"At least just..promise me that yoy wouldn't tell anyone..?" Erwin held out his rather large pinky finger.

"Yeah, sure." I grinned, wrapping my own pinky finger with his.

As we unlaced our fingers, Erwin immediately pulled me into a hug.

"It's not too big-a-deal to hide the fact that your best friend writes gay fics, y'know." I patted his back awkwardly.

I let go of the hug and engaged ourselves on a very very messed up conversation on a couch.

"Want to hear some of my pickup lines?" asked Erwin.

"Sure.", but in the back of my mind I was praying that it wouldn't be like the ones he made last time that didn't worked out well when he performed it to the girls.

--flashback--

" Okay, okay. Watch this." Erwin agreed to a dare of mine that he will perform his most famous pickup line to a nearby young lady.

Erwin walked up to a girl that has coffee brown hair that reached down to her waist. She was really pretty and she stood out from the rest of the women in the market.

Erwin cleared his throat while I was watching from afar, hiding behind a barrel watching how it'll turn out.

The coffee brown haired girl took notice of Erwin.

"Oh, you poor innocent girl." I really felt bad for her since she's about to witness the worst thing of all-- Erwin's pickup lines. (DUN DUN DUUUUUUNN)

"Why hello there, Commander Smith~" The girl greeted Erwin with a gentle smile plastered onto her lips.

"Hi miss. I think I lost my number. May I have yours?" Erwin started.

I facepalmed myself, realizing that phones doesn't exist in this era yet.

The girl looked confused and uncomfortable, so I signalled Erwin to switch to another pickup line.

Erwin cleared his throat before staring into her eyes, trying to make himself look romantic and shit, "Are those pants for sale? Cause they're a hundred percent off at my place."

I dropped my jaw Patrick Star style. He can't say that since he just started, AND SHE'S NOT EVEN WEARING ANY PANTS.

The girl giggled at Erwin, "Oh, Commander. You're making me blush~" She replied while hiding half of her face behind her fan. (Not an electric fan ok 😂 That would look so weird tho lmao)

Erwin gave me a thumbs up, me returning the same response.

"Baby, do you work in a Barn? Coz you sure do know how to raise a cock." Erwin said confidently while wiggling his bushy eyebrow up and down repeatedly.

I bursted into fits of laughter, "HOLY COW, ERWIN. PLEASE STAHP."

"Are you a lumberjack? Coz I got wood. The word of the day is legs, now let's go to my place and spread the word. Want to see a magic trick? Bend over and watch my dick disappear. Your voice is so beautiful, but it's better when it's muffled by my cock. BLAHBLAHBLAHDICKBLAHBLAHCOCKBLAHBLAHASFHKSLLJDS--"

Erwin kept on blurting out his oh-so-awful pickup lines, not noticing the girl who slowly walked away.

I grasped Erwin's hand before walking back to his office.

"I think she's into me." Erwin smirked, not aware of the outcome of the dare I gave him.

"Yup, I guess she IS pretty into ya." I said sarcastically, but Erwin shrugged off my remark.

3rd P.O.V.

"I like someone else though." He blushed, looking at their hands that's currently linked with each other. But Al didn't noticed since she was looking straight ahead.

"Aaand.. who might that lucky girl slash guy be?" Al asked.

Erwin gazed softly into her dark cloudy eyes before closing them and said "It's a secret that I only know about."

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Alrightyyy xD okay, I admit

Erwin Smith is my fave character in the AOT series. Doesn't look like it, huh~?
But yeah :> I might give two updates since I'm really motivated for no reason right now.

Be humanity's last hope, Squadrons~ 🍋🍋🍋