Depression's cure {Boy x Boy}

Cock blocked

[WADE'S POV]

Ten thousand dollars is a lot....like a lot. Im not stupid, OF CORSE IM FUCKING DOING THE JOB!

"Yea....I'm in, send me the deets....kay kay see ya"

I've just accepted a job to kill a serial killer who forces children to be "happy" or else he rapes and kills them. I am sooo gonna destroy this bastard.

I sharpen my katanas, sheath them, then head out. I hear my phone ring, pull it out and see that I've just received the details for the mission. Apparently, this guy goes by the name of "Barney" and hides out in an abandoned middle school. What the fuck, this guy's got some serious issuses. Good thing I'm gonna slice that disturbed little head right open and end it.

I Jump off the roof of my apartment and head for the middle school, but as I go, I see that little Spiderman guy stop a bunch of burglars from robbing a bank. Awwee that Spiderman, he's so cute. Always doing his best to keep the city safe.....I wonder why almost everybody hates him so much..

I then see one of the burglars try to stab Spidey in the back of his neck while he was taking down another guy. He quickly turns around and catches the guy's hands, stopping them so the knife doesn't pierce his neck. But the guy that he just pinned down stands up and tries to stab his neck as well!

I swiftly grab a dagger from my belt and launch it as hard as i can towards the burglar who is trying to kill Spidey. Just by sheer luck, the dagger hit the guy in the head piercing his skull and slicing his brain. It actually went straight through his head....heh, guess i don't know my own strength sometimes.

Spidey then kicked the guy, he was now fighting, in the balls, which i find pretty funny. He crawls under his legs while taking the knife out of his hand and then stabs him in the back of the neck which is what the guy planned to do to him. He is so cute when he fights, its also really hot.....

I leave just in time so that i don't get a boner which REALLY makes it hard to fight. I always worry that it's gonna get cut off or some shit. It's just a bad idea in general to get all hot before a fight. But (sigh) it happened anyway.....all because of that adorable, yet sexy Spiderman. I'll have to get back at him later..... But for right now, I gotta job to do.

I walk into the abandoned middle school building.

"HEY, ANY RANDOM GIANT PURPLE DINOSAUR NAMED 'BARNEY' RUNNIŃ AROUND TRAUMATIZING CHILDREN AND STEALLING THEIR VIRGINITY?!" I shout out.

No one answered...

I then hear a loud crash and a childish scream yelling for help. I run down the hallway only to find that there are two ways to go, so i yell:

"IS THAT A YES?!"

Hoping someone would respond or at least scream again so that when I hear it I could locate where it was coming from.

"Let go! Get off of me!"

I hear a young voice say, sounds like a girl. Its coming from a room on the right side with a door with a broken sign that says

'6th grade: Mrs. Whittaker's class'

"You're not HAPPY!! Why aren't you happy?! Ive given you everything you little ungrateful bitch! Im gonna fuck the shit out of you then out a bullet in your skull!!"

"HeeELLP"

I kick the door down to see a girl who looks to be about ten years old handcuffed to a pole in the corner of the classroom with an old guy with a purple shirt on and no pants in front of her.

"YIKES! Usually I would say 'this is awkward' and then walk away and let people do their thing buuttt YOU SIR, ARE AN OLD MAN TRYING TO HIT ON A TEN YEAR OLD! Duude, has your sex life really come to that?!"

"Who the fuck are you?!"

In then in a blink of an eye I appear at the man's side.

"Oh me? Don't mind me, I'm just the guy who's gonna make pool balls out your eyes," I say while closing my eyes and smile under my mask innocently before pulling out a gun and pointing it at his head, "Now back away from the little girl or I'll blow your disturbed little brain out of your wrinkled skull," I say in my low commanding voice. I always use it when i get serious and I try to scare someone into doing something. He slowly puts his hands up and backs away.

"Now I think it's time to destroy the tool you've been using to torture little kids and take away the one precious thing in their lives," I say while pointing my gun at the old mans ball sack.

Oh Mygosh. I mentally barf. I feel so bad for the children he raped. NO one should have a saggy crusty dick thrusted into them. I mean thats just wrong what the hell.

"LOOK AWAY," I  yell at the ten year old so she doesn't have to see.

I shoot the guy's nuts while he screams in agonizing pain, then pull out one of my katanas and bring it down upon his head, slicing it in half. Thank GOD my boner went away, I would've been so embarrassed for that ten year old to see that...  I cut the handcuffs to let her free.

"Now when you get older, don't be a little hoe like that man I just killed, thats nasty sweetheart," I say to her patting her head. Hey, i may have saved a child but i'm still an asshole.

I leave, on my way to collect my payment. After that, on my way to spy on my favorite hero....SPIDERMAN!

YEA THAT JUST HAPPENED....HOPE U ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER! I WANTED TO SHOW DEADPOOL's SWEET SIDE WHILE ALSO STILL SHOWING HES KIND OF AN ASSHOLE LOL! NEXT CHAPTER COMING SOON