Lilies On Fire

Bully

The darkess around me

As I stifle my sobs of anguish

I drop to the floor

Hoping someone.

Anyone.

Would come to stop me.

I pick myself up and move towards the wooden chair

Climb up and barely catch myself from falling

Words of hate cheer me on

'Slut. Bitch. Ugly'

'Hahahaha, just kill yourself already!'

Images of the truth surround me

They all left me.

The people I trusted now call me a freak.

Guns sound triggering the inevitable race.

One mistake and i'm a punching bag

One mistake of my sexuality and now i'm a target

One mistake.

That's all it took.

I strap the rope around my neck

Fasten it and close my eyes.

Laughter surrounds me

But at my expense.

I grab my hair as run my hand through those curls,

Then bring my arms out infront of me,

Each cut a reminder of an awful memory

And many sleep less nights

Where I cried till exhaustion over took

And woke up with my head throbbing in pain.

Unable to cry again when you push me into my own locker.

The fire gives out.

I scream in frustration.

I push the chair away

And it starts.

The material digs into my skin

I choke as the darkness seeps in.

One last look at the place I grew up

One last of all those pictures

One at my scars

One at the note that lay a million miles away

Holding my life, the key and emotions of the final moment.

The moment I killed myself.

I choke and realize my mistake

I'm too young!

I can't give it all up!

No! Let me go!

My breathing stops

The pain around my neck increases

Then I give up

And float ten feet above the ground.

Where were you at this moment?

Where was I?

Where were we when someone we knew took their own life?

You said you loved me

I only live with that hope you gave me.

You scream and cry over my soul less body

Say you're sorry.

You should've been there

But as each second passes i'm closer to the unknown.

Cut me down

get the funeral ready

I'm ready to go.