Why I Can't Rule The World

No. 21

While life wasn't the grandest at the moment, God still held true to His promises of loving us. Just like He gave them the Holy Spirit, He'd give us grace for our wrongdoings.

The school day was dragging by, forcing me to actually learn something. Even if it only happened several days ago, me being thrown out of my house seemed very disconnected from who I was. I was hardly home anyway, the shock of it all had drained me. I still couldn't sleep well, Dad's rage haunting my dreams. My family was the first thing I thought of when I woke up and the last thing when I was falling asleep.

I couldn't shake the uneasiness of seeing Pearl at school. Each day she looked more exhausted than the last, like she had fretted over my fate for the past week. She seemed more troubled about the situation than I was.

However, I had found a secure source of comfort, and she was still living at home, not knowing the peace of mind that could come if she just let Christ in. I reminded myself that change takes time. I didn't accept it over night, so why was I expecting her to?

As I was contemplating how my life had changed in the past week during English class, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I nearly jumped out of my seat, mostly because I was half asleep, but also because I saw who was calling. Quickly, I denied the call to shut off the buzzing noise, then made my escape to the bathroom without question.

I began to panic as I locked myself in the stall. For a moment, I thought about what I was going to do and how I should go about this. I didn't know what they wanted, but it couldn't be that bad. Or maybe it was, especially if they were calling me during school. I called her back; I couldn't take the suspense anymore.

"Mom?" I breathed quietly, leaning against the stall door. I listened to someone flush the toilet in the stall beside mine.

"Fletcher, oh my son," she cried through the phone, sounding relieved.

"Hey, yeah it's me," I said, cringing at how casual I sounded. "Are you okay? What's been happening? Is there anything I can--"

"Please come home," she pleaded me.

"O-okay?" I stammered, shifting my weight on my feet.

"I convinced your dad to let you. We need you back here, all of us miss you," she said.

"I'll come tonight," I said, smiling to myself. She wanted me back. "I promise."

"I am so sorry for everything. Pearl and I... We had a discussion about how things have been. I never knew you two didn't feel cared for by me and your father, I am so sorry--"

"No Mom," I interrupted, my heart pounding in my chest. "It's okay. I should've told you earlier. But I was just so angry with everything, I didn't think anyone cared."

"I care sweetheart, I really do," she told me, sounding desperate for me to understand. It broke my heart a little, actually.

"I... I believe you," I said softly, sincerely wanting to. It wasn't just her fault our family was the way it was. We were all kind of jerks to each other. "And I'll come home."

"I'm working on getting your dad to want you to come back. I don't know if he's okay with it or not, but he said I could tell you. Oh, and I have some news."

"What is it?" I asked, trying to sound lighthearted. In reality, I was worried about my father, what he would do if I went back. If he would even acknowledge me.

"I got a job!" she exclaimed.

"Really?" A weight released pressure in my chest. This news seemed to solve a lot of our arguments. Maybe Dad would lay off on the disagreements.