the blue neighbourhood series // 5sos

[3] dkla // calum hood

Chapter Three [ dkla // c.h ]

calum was a mess.

it's been three days and all he has done is being in his room. no one has came to visit him or talk to him. joy, the boy's mom, came a couple of times the second day, but then she realized that calum wanted his space, he needed to be alone.

sometimes we need to be alone without someone bothering us. probably they aren't bothering us, they just want to help and that's okay. but there are occasions when you have to respect this person; moments when the best you can do is leave the person alone. but there's also moments when you can't leave the person, you don't know what they will do. your company can be important.

it's confusing, to be honest.

a person, a moment, a song, a word, an action,
can change someone.

it's curious and amazing how an small things can change completely someone's life. life is curious itself.

who actually knows the meaning of life?

we, people who live in earth, claim to know the meaning of lots of things... but at the same time we aren't hundred percent sure that's true.

these three days have affected calum in ways we never imagined. he has felt more emotions than he ever felt with her. and by emotions, he is talking about sadness. every minute he felt more uncompleted and empty. it hit him every single second that she wasn't coming back. she was dead and she will remain dead. that was a fact.

there was no moment when he didn't think of her. thinking of all those memories were like a dagger through his chest. the pain was unstoppable. thinking of her name, the girl in general, was painful. calum hasn't been able to say her name out loud. neither he wanted to listen her name escaping from someone's mouth.

the sad boy readjusted himself on the bed for the millionth time and covered himself with the sheets. he buried his head on the pillow hearing the sound of his hair against it. he felt the soft material on his face and closed his eyes.

every time he closed his eyes he could see her. this hurt him but it was the only way he could see her. it was something. he wasn't sure if memories were something good or bad. but his emotions were attacking him with his memories. he wanted it to stop, but at the same time he didn't.

he wanted to see her even if it wasn't real. but he also didn't want all these memories cause him so much pain.

calum didn't want anything. all he wanted was her,

and that was the only thing he was never going to have.

suddenly, these painful memories come back all at the same time hitting calum like a truck for the fifth time today. he can feel his heart aching and the migraine in his head becoming more powerful. he can feel the tears forming from the corner of his eyes that have been puffy all day. the beautiful brown eyes of the boy were burning. everything inside him was.

calum finds it harder to breathe and he brings his hands to his head.

"stop. stop." he whispers to himself.

everyone should be sleeping by now, so no one could hear him. no one was going to come anyways...

he starts crying. is this going to be an usual thing? calum wonders. he didn't want anything of this.

calum didn't even bother to wipe his tears away, it was a waste of time. nothing he could do was going to help him to stop everything and make him feel better. wiping his tears away was something stupid. he needed to face the fact there is pain that's trying to kill him.

all he could wonder is if there was the slight chance to be the calum hood he was before...

cero probabilities.