Broken Generation (Sequel to Don't Go)

Chapter 12

"Look, i'll bring everything, and I'll see you in an hour, okay?" He said, and I confirmed before we said our goodbyes and hung up. I licked my lips again and looked around.

Twenty minutes later (after throwing up twice and nearly blacking out) I had everything cleaned up, and I put on some makeup to make me look less ghostly. I slowly changed into a pair of sweats and a baggy sweatshirt, pulling my hair back into a sloppy ponytail and heading out to the living room. I sat on the couch, feeling incredibly weak, so I laid down.

I woke when the doorbell rang and I jerked up, breath slightly hitching before I remembered the plans I had made. I stood and shuffled to the door, opening it with a small smile.

"Hey Austin." I said, getting a spell of dizziness for a moment. Austin noticed and gently grabbed my shoulder with his free hand, balancing everything else in his other hand.

"Let me help." I said softly, reaching forward and grabbing the two one liter cokes. My muscles burned as I carried them to my coffee table and I sat down, hiding the trembling of my arms. Astin carried the rest in, softly closing my front door and setting everything else on the coffee table.

"I brought over a few games, knowing you would like to try some of the ones I bought, and I brought your favorite chips and some pastries." He said, and I smiled, lightly scratching the back of my neck as I felt an itch rise.

"Thanks Austin. What game do you want to play first?" I asked, and he shrugged, sitting down on the couch beside me.

"I have a game, but it's only one player."

"That's okay, you can play first and I'll watch." I said, and he smiled, standing and putting the game in the system. He came back and sat down on the couch, and I stretched as he placed his feet (he had taken off his shoes) on my coffee table. I rested my head in his lap, pulling my feet up onto the couch as I did so. He smiled down at me, starting up the game as i smiled back at him before staring at the screen. Austin's body radiated so much heat and the sound of his breathing was so soothing and relaxing.

"Prince of Persia is a wonderfully drawn game, it's as if you're in a storybook and it actually develops a great plot-" Austin kept talking about the game and I smiled as I started to drift off into sleep, eyes closing slowly as I drifted off to sleep.

** Nicole's P.O.V. **

The last month has been pretty weird. On one side my self harming was just getting worse. I kept going over places that were healing since I was slowly taking up all the space available on my thighs. Nobody has a clue about it and I wish it remains that way. I know it's wrong. However, that feeling of numbness is just too addicting. Your body feels the need to feel nothing. The voices in your head say nothing but "do it". Everything in myself is going against logic and fully healing.

On a happier note, Evan and I just continue to get really close. We have arrived to a point that Crimson and Josh asked us once or twice whether or not we were dating. There was a spark in me that would shine and would wish that answer was yes. The reality of things was that we weren't. I am now certain for what I feel for him and it is for sure more than friendship.

The only problem? I don't know if he feels the same way. I don't even know if I'm mentally stable enough to jump into another relationship. After what happened with... him the idea of relationships just ache me. He has caused me such great pain. I just fear that it will happen again. I know Evan is a great guy, I mean look at him. He has been by my side this whole time and never once did he leave me. However, I have learned to not trust people that easily. Oli gave me the same impression. He actually seemed for a moment the one. But look at how it all tumbled down.