Because Of You

Chapter 4

"What...things?", I did not like this conversation.

"Well, these are just rumors but people say that he used to drug him and take advantage of him, poor Alex couldn't even walk in the morning", Anderson nearly vomited just thinking of this.

"But if you knew about this why didn't you turn him in". Any idiot with a functioning brain could think of this.

"He's the headmaster little brother, you really think he's going to turn in his brother", Andy spoke. He was right, Mr Holmes would never do that to his brother.

"See Johnny boy we care for you, and we want to protect you, so just please be careful with him and don't fool around", Jim walked closer to me and ours faces were inches apart.

"I only see Sherlock as a friend"

"But he doesn't", Jim smirked and walked away with the rest following him.

Christ. What am I going to do. I share a room with a rapist. A good looking rapist.

Wait. What? I'm thinking nonsense I'm straight and I hope I stay straight through the whole year.

Sherlock POV

John was amazing person, he wasn't like the rest. He didn't judge me, he didn't think of himself as god to judge me. He was nice, sweet and dam very athletic. I love to watch him do push ups at 7:30 in the morning. His perfect ass made me melt, and those muscles if only I could touch those muscles. There are no words to describe John Watson. He was just him, and I hated what he was doing to me.

Sentiment.

He is the first person since Redbeard to do this to me. This is not me I don't feel, I'm a high functioning sociopath, I don't have friends. Then why do I have feelings for him? Besides he's straight, I'm not, he's nice, I'm not, I'm smart, he's smart-ish. We have nothing in common, he would never like me the same way I like him, and now I feel so stupid and helpless. Why do I feel?

These emotions are making my brain weak.

He is making me weak.

The one thing I hated about him is that he hangs out with Jim and Sebastian. Since he met Irene he hasn't stop talking about her. No I'm not jealous, it's just I get annoyed just listening to him talking and talking about her. The point is that he hangs out with the people that make my life miserable everyday. And he doesn't think it's wrong, maybe I should just talk to him. As soon as I thought of that he came arrived, still in uniform.

"Hey", I stood from my desk.

"Hey", he didn't face me, was he scared of something? I ignored it.

"Can we talk?", I walked towards him and he took a step back. He was definitely frightened of me.

"Yeah, sure what about?", he took another step back and walked toward his bed were he put his backpack there. He didn't face me once, something was up, and I know for a fact this was all Jim.

"What has Jim and the rest been telling you about me?", horrible lies for sure, "and be honest", I added.

"If I'm honest you'll get mad at me", he said worriedly.

"No I won't", I shook my head

There was a long pause.

"They said that you would drug and raped your last roommate Alex, and that I should be careful with you", his eyes never met mine.

"And do you believe them?", I looked down and then looked up at his scared face as I asked him this question.

"Sherlock...", I cut him off.

"DO YOU BELIEVE THEM, YES OR NO", I yelled violently.

"YES", he stood from his bed.

I stood there in disbelieve, how could he say that he knew me, he knew I wouldn't do that. He started to walk the out door, when I grabbed his wrist and pulled him toward my face pushing him again the wall. I had a good grip on his shirt.

"Get off, Sherlock", he wiggled around, fighting me.

"No tell me why you believe them".

"Get off you fag!", I froze.

I let go of his shirt and he forcefully pushed me to the floor. We're I laid as I stared at him and I kept repeating those words in my head, "get off you fag".

"That suits you right freak", he fixed his messy collar and walked out slamming the door.

Freak and fag were the last two words I thought John would say to me. I quickly stood up and walked in the bathroom, I tried searching everywhere for the blade but I couldn't find it. I gave up and got my sharpener and unscrewed it, and got the little blade. I drugged the little blade through my skin, dam, who needs pain killers when you have this. I then started to remember everything that just happened. Why did I make him bad? Now I'm down to zero friends again, just me, blade and drugs.

The golden trio.

But just like in the end of the movie we have to move on.