thirty four
The first Friday of April came around. The Healy family were situated in a hotel north of the Canadian border. Matt was getting Nolan to sleep as Luke took another pregnancy test.
Luke was ready to give up. He was really, really ready to give up. He told himself that he'd never get pregnant again, but somewhere deep in mind he was highly hoping that he'd fall pregnant.
Ten years ago, Luke couldn't imagine wanting to get pregnant. Now, though, it's all he could think about.
He felt terrible every time he had to tell Matt the bad news. He just wanted to give him another baby. The blonde knew how badly his husband wanted to have a bigger family. He knew that Matty would just lie to him every time he said that it was fine that they couldn't conceive.
Matty tucked Nolan into the hotel crib, leaning over the rail to make sure the soft blankets kept his small body warm.
He let out a content sigh, he was so happy with the moment, he was so happy with his family.
Matt reached down once more, running his curled fingers over his son's soft skin. "I love you," he whispered. He stared down at the sleeping one-year-old in a non-creepy way.
He definitely had Luke's nose, no matter what the blonde said.
Matt left the room, closing the bedroom door behind him yet keeping it open a crack just in case. He went across the hallway of their suite—only a solid four feet away—to the bedroom where his husband was waiting for him.
Luke sat on the edge of their bed, his head down and looking at the plastic stick in between his lean fingers. For a solid millisecond, Matty got his hopes up. Maybe it was finally time that their second kid came around.
That was all until Luke looked up, his eyes glassed over. "Don't tell me it's okay," he said. His hands clutched around the pregnancy test. Matty could see the one line showing another negative result as he stepped closer.
"Well, I'm not gonna lie to you," Matty said, sitting next to Luke. He took the test from his hands, tossing it in the metal tin a few feet away. "It is okay."
Luke shrugged, swallowing a lump in his throat. "Maybe it's time we just accept that we won't get pregnant again." He rested his head on Matty's shoulder.
Matt wrapped his arm around Luke's waist, pulling him closer until their bare thighs touched. Luke looked ridiculous with his neon blue briefs, especially compared to the white Calvin Klein's adorning Matty's waist.
"We don't have to give up," he responded after a few moments of silence, "We can just put it off for a bit, yeah? We just don't need to make it our first priority."
Luke nodded. His eyes trailed down, shutting them tightly to let a single tear roll across his cheekbone before falling to the ground.
"I will always do anything that makes you happy, you know that."
He nodded once more, not willing to open his mouth.
Matty picked him off of his shoulder, moving him back to the pillows of their bed. He tucked him in, the same way he did with Nolan. Matt kissed his forehead before reaching over him, grabbing the television remote from the bedside table.
He knew all the stupid murder mysteries shows were Luke's favorite. Like he always says, he would do anything to make Luke happy.
Matt cuddled into Luke's side, getting under the blankets and lapping his legs over his partner's. Luke had his hand on the top of Matty's spine, finding comfort in feeling his warm skin.
Luke was crying, he was silently crying. He could feel the warm tears falling over his face as it tickled his skin.
Matty, too, had his silent cries. In the moment, they were so sad. Matty just wanted their life to be perfect. They had everything else—a beautiful house being built back in New York, financial stability (and more), a healthy son. They had food on their plates and a roof over their heads. They had love for each other and people whom cared for them greatly.
It was just that one moment in the first Friday of April where they both felt so sad.
The murder show playing quietly from the television in front of them drowned out their lowest moment. Luke held Matty closer, knowing he was just as sad. Matty held Luke closer, knowing he wasn't feeling his best.
The fell asleep with wet eyes, it was something new.
Six chapters left!!
Getting closer to the end, ready for some Muke?
