Random Things I Think Of...

My Life Is Shattered...

July 28, 2013

There's some things that people hold so close to them; things that people love so much. Some people love things that other people would never see why they'd love that thing so much.

Well, I love my iPod. Lots of people say that, but my iPod is like my lifeline. It's my biggest communicating device. Plus it plays music, and it has games. I use my iPod everyday. I don't know what I'd do without it.

That's why I can't breathe every time it falls, or whenever I don't know where it is. I'm not okay until I know my iPod's okay.

Lots of shit has happened to me before, crushing my world. People might say, "oh well, you'll get over it" or "I've gone through worse" or "you're being ridiculous, it's no big deal". Well, those people don't understand, because they aren't me. They don't feel what I feel inside.

I try to shrug it off, but how do I? How do I ignore the pain and guilt build up inside? Yes, guilt. Everything I've ever regretted has not been forgotten in my mind. Hell, I still feel guilty for kicking that guy in the face in kindergarten. It's not like I meant to. He leaned down under the table, in his chair, to get a crayon. It's not my fault that I was happily swinging my feet and his face got in the way! But I haven't seen the kid in YEARS and I still feel bad for it.

I guess I'm just one of those people who feels bad about everything.

But anyways, I'm gunna get back on track here. My iPod. I love it. But who doesn't love their iPod? Mine contains all my secrets. All the things I haven't told anyone about, and all the things I have told people about. So let's just say that when my iPod slipped from my hands and crashed onto the concrete I felt broken. I felt shattered. I felt more destroyed than before, if that was possible. I picked it up, looking at it's shattered face, holding tears back. Great. Just great. It still worked, and still does. I'm so happy it still works. But pieces of glass keep falling off. And I can't help but think, aren't we all iPods in a way? We all have secrets, and we all are fragile. Our cases are the walls we put up to pretext ourselves. Well, I don't have a very strong case, and I don't use it often. I guess becoming shattered is what I get for that.

Has anyone ever heard of All That I've Got by The Used? It's stuck in my head, and it's making me want to break down and cry. Wow. But I love that song...

I'll talk to you later,

~The Broken Ginger~