The Boxer VS The Bartender (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 65

A/N:I don't have much to say today. These past couple of chapters and the upcoming ones have been playing on my emotions a bit. The song I am listening to as I write this chapter is 'Photograph' by Ed Sheeran. And 'Don't Let Me Go by Harry. I can already tell you I will be crying by the time I get this chapter written. Just a heads up for you guys xx

HARRY
It's been a couple of days since I broke the one I love the most. The way I acted that day was childish and very uncalled for. The look in his eyes when he left held so much emotion, but one I could still see was..Love. Really? How could that precious human being still love a monster like myself. I didn't realize how close I was to losing my world till he walked out that door. Niall told me that I really messed up this time and that it was time for me to pull my head out of my ass. The words hurt, but at least he was being honest. Needless to say I didn't eat my supper that evening. I had Liam and Niall take me to my room and that is where I have been every since. I didn't go to the club with them last night/monday night. It's now Tuesday morning. Four in the morning to be exact. Niall had to go of course. And Liam went to keep him company. They put everything i would need by my bed so I could get to it. With the promise that I would call if I needed anything. I was asleep when they got in around three, but, their arguing woke me up. They never argue, or not the way they are right now. they are actually yelling at each other. Over..Louis and I. It hits me then that this isn't just involving Louis and me..but also our two best friends. Since I am awake and can't sleep and have so many thoughts going through my head, I pull out my notebook that I write my songs in. Not many people know I even have this. These songs are personal to me. They hold my deepest thoughts and emotions. I open it up to the page titled..'Don't Let Me Go'...this one is very personal to me. It holds some of my feelings in it of how I am feeling right now. I start writing as the words just flow through my pen like a gentle waterfall onto the page. As I write the words down I break down and start crying. I just drop my pen and cover my face with my hands and start crying uncontrollably. I haven't cried like this in years. This boy has opened parts of my heart that I closed up so many years ago. Why can't I just quit being an ass and let him love me like he wants to..let myself love him the way I want to..the way he deserves to be loved. I'm afraid of getting hurt. Okay, well so is he, right? Everything I'm afraid of happening to me, I am doing to him! God I am such a fuck up! A loser if you will! I decide then that it is time for me to quit playing pity games. Quit this pity party that I have been holding for so long. Time to grow up and look at what is most important to me at this moment. Yes, my career is over. But like Louis said, I can find another career. Maybe something dealing with boxing, but not being an actual fighter. But to lose Louis, now that would ruin my life. There is not another Louis Tomlinson out there. And I have the only one there is. I should be treating him like a precious piece of antique glass or something. Gentle and loving. I don't realize I had fallen asleep to my thoughts until I am awoken by someone knocking on my door and hollering out my name. I look at the clock by my bed and see that is nearly noon. Damn! How long have I been alseep?

"Come in", I shout out as I cover myself up more.

"Harry, time to get up and about. Your therapist called and your first appointment is tomorrow. Lunch is ready. We want you to come down and join us today. You have stayed up here long enough", Liam says as he walks into my room. He grabs me some clean comfortable clothes and comes over to the bed to help me get up and about. I am still a bit embarrassed for him to see me in all my naked glory. But he is my best friend so it isn't too bad. He does leg exercises with me before getting my up. He hold my leg close to my chest and I have to push against his hand to straiten my leg. Feels kind of good actually. he then slips a pair of blue joggers up my legs and over my bum and a blue t-shirt and a pair of socks. He carries me down the stairs and Niall takes my wheelchair down and sets it up at the table. It is quiet while we all eat which is not normal. Liam and Niall are usually picking at each other and laughing together. Not this morning. So I decide to speak up.