Props and Mayhem

The Kids In The Dark

"They left us alone
                     The kids in the dark
                    To burn out forever
                     Or light up a spark"

Isn't it horrible to feel like you're the prey in a pack of vicious, angry wolves? Well, that's how it is everyday for me at Lakeview High. When you're a hybrid between a hardcore band girl and a nerdy fangirl, some people don't even treat you like a human anymore. Everyone there practically are carbon copies of each other, so when anyone chooses to do something different, people just don't know how to react. They look at me like I'm an alien when I say I'd rather stay home and listen to metalcore music instead of going to some high school party full of drunk people.

    I threw on a Bring Me The Horizon sweatshirt and some skinny jeans for my 1st day of 10th grade. In the mirror, I adjusted my hair. It's hard to tame the beast because it's stuck in this weird phase between straight and curly, and looks frizzy if I leave it alone. Oh Well I thought as I pulled the black mess riddled with purple highlights into a bun.

    I grabbed my backpack (black with the tardis and daleks from Doctor Who sewn into it) and walked the short distance to my school.

    Once I arrived, I waited by the big double doors for my best friend, Jake. There's no way I'm walking in that stupid place alone.

    I could see Jake walk up from a mile away. He looked like a walking Hot Topic advertisement. With his dark, longish hair, clad in a red Of Mice & Men shirt and black skinny jeans, he wasn't hard to miss. I swear I've never seen him in anything other than band merch. He most likely owns all of Hot Topic in his closet.

    "Amy!" he said, running up to me. "Oh god, I don't wanna be here".

    "And you think I do?" I replied, smirking.

    "Well, let's get this crap over with. I'm already tired of school and the 1st day hasn't even started," he joked back.

    Looking around, I saw all the teens standing around. People. Lots of people. My hands started quivering a bit. Then my breaths started coming in quick gasps. Not again...

    I felt Jake pull me into a hug. "Deep breaths," he said. "1...2...exhale". I willed myself to focus on nothing other than breathing. After several rounds of breathing, I started to feel better.

    I should probably mention I have severe social anxiety. It's gotten a little better, but if I think too much, it causes me to go into a panic over nothing.

    For example, on my 1st day of 9th grade, I had a full- out panic attack. I missed my 1st two periods because I was in the bathroom, shaking and sobbing. Nice way to start out your first year of high school, right?

    "You feel better?" Jake asked. I nodded my head. Things still felt a bit distant, but at least I didn't feel like I was about to faint anymore.

    We walked into the school as people swarmed by. I stayed no further than an arm's length away from Jake, just in case my anxiety decided to swallow me whole again.

    "I've got bio 1st period. Where are you headed?" He asked.

    I pulled my schedule out of my pocket. "Umm... Pre-Calc. Room 212".

    "Smarty pants," he said, smirking at me. "Do you need me to walk you there or...?"he asked.

"I'll be fine. God, I feel like such a child. You always have to check up on me and I feel bad".

"Hey, what are friends for? You're the one who had to sit by bedside practically all summer because I refused to get out of bed. You didn't give up on me, so sure as hell I'm not giving up on you." He winked at me.

    "Well, enjoy your bio class," I told him, parting ways.

    "Oh, if I enjoy it, it's not going to be because the teacher's talk about pig intestines inspired me. It's going to be because I'm watching the inside of my eyelids".