[ON HOLD] 36 Students in a Classroom

1. Girl, put yo hand down!

Right.

Anyway, so my class was having a normal lesson and everything, and then the teacher started asking us questions.

Now, me being the smarticle that I am, I was raising my hand to speak.

You know what, I take that back. I wasn't all that smart. I was just one of the only kids who stayed awake in my homeroom teacher's class. So obviously, since when I'd turned around I'd seen pretty much everyone else sleeping, I figured I had a chance to speak. And I figured that since I didn't raise my hand often, the teacher would pick on me immediately.

But guess who else was raising their hand?

Nope. Not Bob.

Not Stephanie, or LaQuisha. Not even Jimmy.

It was Gertrude.

And even though I almost never raised my hand, guess who got called on? Gertrude. Now, me being me, I kept myself on alert for when she was finished talking, so I could raise my hand again. Because I was a good sport and I didn't want to disturb her while she was speaking.

But this girl . . . she just . . .

Okay, let me put it this way. Every time she raises her hand it's somehow related to a documentary. And instead of giving us a summary, she literally tells us like the whole freaking thing. It's like she just became that boring voice that talks behind the screens of the documentary itself. "Gum, when swallowed, can be the deadliest . . ."

Like, dude. We get it. Swallowing gum = bad.

But even though no one cared about what she was saying, this girl still went all Discovery Channel on us. And kept talking. As if she were the teacher.

And I had this classmate who was funny and ridiculous even in class, and when Gertrude started talking, this girl would audibly suck her teeth and go, "Yo, Gertrude . . ." And everyone knew what that meant. Stop talking you idiot.

But she just kept going and going. And going. And going. So eventually I stood up, pretended I was going to get a tissue, and when I passed by her desk while the teacher wasn't looking, I smacked her upside the head.

Okay, maybe not I didn't smack her. Maybe I just subtly pushed her book off her desk.

But I imagine the outcome would've been the same.

After her book fell, she stopped talking for a second and turned around to find out who did it, but I was already on my way back to my seat with my nose buried in a tissue. And when she stopped, I raised my hand.

And guess what? I got called on.

Boom.

Oh, I'm good. I'm really good.

But you know what's not good? Being a braniac. Guys, if you're one of those people, please. Just . . . just stop. Okay? Because you're sitting there boring us all to death and making corny jokes that only you and the teacher get.

Yeah, the only other laugh you got was the teacher's. The teacher's. You don't find anything wrong with that?

Because I can find so many problems with that, I'm not even sure if it's legal.

I didn't see anyone laughing so hard that they fell off their chair. I didn't see anyone crying tears of laughter because it was so hilarious.

Although maybe I did see a few tears. Of hunger! Look, we are growing students. We're kids. We need food, okay?

Lunch started like fifteen minutes ago.

I didn't have breakfast. And I'm pretty sure you did, and that is not fair. I am hungry, and so is everyone else here. And you're keeping us poor starving children locked up in a stuffy room with thirty-six other people.

So please. Don't be a Gertrude.

The real Gertrude, if you're reading this, and you know I'm talking about you, don't be offended. Because in all honesty, I love you to death. I really do. You were my book-buddy; we always swapped info on the latest Meg Cabot accomplishments together. But come on. You know what you did to us. You and your smartness.

Is that even a word? I don't know.

See? You're so smart I had to invent a new word to describe your characteristics. You brainiac.

But back to what I was saying. If this is the category you fall into, my advice to you is . . . next time, just tell us that orange juice is nice. And maybe, maybe, when we get to lunch we'll give you some of our Cheez-Its.

But if you're not gonna do that . . .

Just, just leave. The door is over there, you can find your way out. And I'm sorry if you trip over my foot that I accidentally placed in the isle right before you walked by, okay? I am so sorry.

. . . Nah, I'm not.

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Yay, first part uploaded in like a day. Woohoo for me.

Okay, so guys, comment if you do or do not fit into this category. Maybe I'll award you with a sticker or something, I don't know. Or maybe I'll promote your story? Idk. Whatever you want. Just comment!

Vote too, but you know. Comments.

- Blaze