Seriously Joking, Jokingly Serious

Chapter I: Meet the Prankster

Renji's POV:

I scrambled to get up when I realized it was almost dawn. D*mn it, how could I have lost track of the time? I'm sure I'll never hear the end of this from Hajime when he learns I haven't gone home for two nights in a row. Who does he think I am? A five year old kid? Still, I am very grateful that he is genuinely concerned about me.

"I've got to head home already," I muttered, all the while pulling my clothes on. You see, I spent my free days with my current playmate. I'm a man, you know, and every man has physical needs that have to be satisfied.

Then I felt hands snake over my back and wrap themselves around my waist.

"Do you have to go now, Renji-sama?" said a soft voice. It happens to belong to my playmate and lover. What was her name again? Oh, why am I even trying to recall it. She's just my current flavor of the month. No more, no less.

I couldn't tell this straight to her face. She probably knows it already, somehow. I plastered a charming smile on face my and said: "Yes."

"Don't go just yet. Stay a little longer, please" she begged, kissing me passionately afterwards.

"Not today, dear. I have to work, remember? I'll visit you again some other time," I replied responding to her kiss and breaking it off after a few moments.

"You'll really do that?" she asked, accompanied by a seductive pout.

" Mochiro desu (Of course). Yakusuko (Promise)," I replied. "Well then. See you when." This was my way of saying goodbye to her as I started to walk outside her home.

Sometime later, I was already making the journey to my home. Well, to my master's home actually. The streets were empty and quiet, since it was not quite morning yet.

Any normal person would probably be afraid of treading home by himself at this unholy hour. Well, I'm not exactly the perfect example of what others deem to be "normal".

My journey home was somewhat long, but it was no big deal to me. In fact, it was perfect for my situation right now. Every step I was taking helped me to think hard about my present situation...

*Sigh* It's time to break up with my lover. Yeah, it is cruel, no matter which way one looks at it... But I have to do it. She's beginning to expect more from our relationship. I made it from the beginning that it would be a purely physical one. She obviously missed my point.

Women... They're so difficult to understand and just as hard to please. When will it get past through their thick skulls that I'm not the type of person who would ever take relationships seriously.

I finally reached my master's home and guess whom I saw waiting for me at the gate? Well, Hajime, who else? Oops, better prepare myself for a severe scolding. In three, two, one...

"Finally you've decided to come home, Ren," he said while fixing a deadly stare at my direction. "Any idea what the time is?"

"Of course I do. It's almost dawn right?" I mentioned nonchalantly, with a matching grin. " You told me not to head home so late at night, so I returned early this morning." "And-"

I was about to add yet another sarcastic reply when I was cut off by his warning glare. Boy, Hajime can be intimidating when he wants to be. If I wasn't close to him, I'd have been terified just by looking at him now.

"Very funny, Ren, very funny. Should I start laughing now? What's wrong with you?" he asked. "You seem to be quite uneasy."

What the hell? He noticed it. Heck, I almost forgot how good of an observant he is.

"Nothing. Everything's fine Hajime," I answered. Who knows, I might be able to pull a fast one on him.

"Yeah right, Ren. You might be able to fool others but definitely not me. I've been your bestfriend for ten years now, so I should know when something's bothering you."

"Fine. I'm breaking up with my current lover," I finally relented. "She's beginning to expect more than simple physical satisfaction from our relationship."

"And what are you hinting at? Get straight to the point. Don't worry. Nothing you can say or do shocks me the slightest bit." Well, I can't argue with that. Hajime knows me very well, too well in fact. I'm willing to bet he knows me more than I do myself.

"That women don't understand when I say I'm just playing with them," I said frustratedly. Is that so difficult to comprehend?

"For some people, may be not. I don't know with others. Ren, just remember women have emotions too. And, more often than not, they develop feelings for you," he supplied.

"Well, too bad for them. I'm simply incaple now of seriously loving a woman again'" I replied.

"It's not a good idea to say things you're not sure of entirely. Besides, aren't you tired of this endless cycle of playing around with women and then dumping them?"

The hell? As always, Hajime was able to strike a nerve within me. Adding insult to the injury was the concerned glance he kept casting at me.

I really hate it when Hajime does that. I can never conceal how I really feel from him. But, stubborn as I am, I will not admit it. Not as of this moment.

"It's way better than being tied down to a person who'll just hurt you in the long run, isn't it?" I rationalized, still refusing to back down on the topic.

"Well, I respect your opinion, Ren. But I believe now's not the  perfect time to discuss this subject more thoroughly. Let's talk some more when I return home from my mission," Hajime said.

Say what you want Hajime. "Live and let live" has been the philosophy of our friendship. You do your thing, I'll do mine. But I know one thing's sure. I'll likely spend my lifetime being a playboy.

(A/N: At last, here comes the story of Renji and Chiaki. This is a spin-off from Hajime and Yukina's story. Character descriptions hopefully soon to follow.

Happy reading and have a good day, minna!