Friends? I Like The Sound Of That

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~Friday~

Deans P.O.V

I'm sat in English waiting for Cas. I think it would be good for me if Cas isn't in today. I don't want to catch.... feelings.

Cas walks in late with sex hair.

"Sorry, I'm late miss." He says with his usual smile plastered on his face. How is this bitch always so damn happy.

"Ok, great, don't care." She says not looking up from her computer.

Cas clearly avoids eye contact with him. Why is he doing that? What happened? Is he ok? He sits down next to me, still avoiding eye contact.

"Hey. You ok?" I immediately ask, clearly worried.

"Um, it's nothing." He finally looks at me "I can only see you after school on a Wednesday and Thursday is all." He says uncomfortably smiling.

"Oh, ok then." Why did he get himself so worked up about not being able to see each other on the normal days? Maybe it's the reason why.

I'm not going to ask him why though because I feel like that would be a little too intrusive.

~~~~

"If music b-be the food of lo-love, play on, give me exc- exc-"

"Excess."

"Yeah, I can read thanks." Cas says sarcastically.

When he looks at me I put my hands up in defeat. He groans a little and rubs his eyes. It's not fucking fair how hot it is when he groans and moans.It's also frustrating because I want to make him do that so badly.

"I'm sorry it's just, I'm tired." I know he said that because it was the first excuse he could think of.I don't question it, though.

"Ok, do you want me to carry on reading or are you good?"

"Umm, Dean, I was wondering if you didn't mind that we could do this at my house on Wednesday. The only reason I'm asking is because I can assure you my parents will want to talk to you, but if you don't want to come, don't worry, I understand and that's fine."

"No, I'll be fine to go to your house." I fake smile and hope he doesn't pick up on it. I feel like Cas sort of knows when I fake smile, it makes me uncomfortable.
~~~~
When I get home I go to the kitchen because I'm fat and the small orange bottle that contains my depression pills catches my eye. I haven't taken them since I started cutting. I feel like I don't need them anymore. I mean I know I do but when I took them I would still be stressed and being a dick, but when I cut it's different. I find some sort of peace doing it. I feel like I'm finally getting what I deserve, pain.

~Wednesday~

I wait for Cas and he's even later than usual. He comes out of the building holding hands with Hannah. Cas doesn't see me but Hannah does. She scowl's at me, she leans in to kiss Cas, still looking at me. I'm very uncomfortable right now. I don't really know what to do with myself. She's just looking at me, still blatantly angry. I have never spoken to her before. What does she have against me? Well, I'm not surprised that people take one look at you and instantly hate you, you're worthless.  Yeah, that's true. They pull away from their kiss Cas smiles at her. It's clear he loves her. What did you think that Castiel loves you? That's fucking hilarious. No one could ever love you, Dean, you're disgusting. I still can't believe that you still haven't killed yourself you waste of fucking air.

Cas looks at her with all of this love in his eyes and Hannah just looks at him smiling, not properly, though, like she's planned something, she looks a bit evil, the way she's staring at Cas. They hug and say goodbye. Cas walks over to me and Hannah is still scowling. 

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