You Don't Remember Me? (Destiel highschool AU)

Set My Heart On Fire, Like Gasoline

I get up from my desk, still mesmerized from when Cas touched me, to go and sit in my normal seat at lunch. The lonely benches behind the gym that half the people in this school don't even know exist. I sit on one of the benches with my back pressed up against the wall just staring at the sky. I love the sky. Even though it changes all the time and it never really is one specific color it's still beautiful. I look down at my hand again and remember that Cas wrote his number on my hand. I mean I know that this was a group project thing but still, I have his number. I can call him whenever. I mean I won't but that doesn't mean I can't.

I put Cas in my contacts before I sweat his number off my hand and I write down that he can come round on a: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday afternoon and a Sunday afternoon. What does he even do on the other days? I honestly can't think of anything. I mean he probably doesn't do weekend mornings because he's sleeping in but what else would he do? Maybe he doesn't want to dedicate his whole life to school work. I don't know I should probably stop over thinking everything.

I start going through my phone. I see a picture of me and Sam. I mean he is my lock screen but, I'll never be able to be with him again. I guess the reason I'm so upset is that it was like one day Sam was on his hospital bed doing fine, fighting cancer, and the next thing I know I get woken up by a bunch of machines going off and people escorting me away from him. It's just been a lot to take in. The bell for the fifth period. What do I even have next? Who the fuck knows. I don't care either but I have to fucking go because I missed too much school whilst I was with Sam on his deathbed. I can't believe they made me come to school a week after his death. It's like shit sorry my brother dying was an inconvenience to you. What fucking assholes. I think that might be why I'm still so hung up on it all is because I never got to get proper closure on everything. But whatever, I'm pretty sure they won't care about my attendance when I do the world a favor and kill myself.

~~~~

Fuck yes. Finally fucking home where I can sit on my couch and watch white trash TV shows for the rest of my fucking life. I'm not ok today. Even though I got paired up with Cas for an 8-week project, I got his number and only 1 person asked me about Sam this morning. Oh yeah, that's because I'm an ungrateful piece of shit and I deserve to die. I always told myself that I would never agree with my dad but he was just so right, as painful as it is I just feel like he is so right about everything he always said to and about me. But that doesn't mean I'm not glad that he left. The main reason that I'm happy about that is because Sam hated it. He never yelled at Sam because Sammy was a fucking angel in my dad's eyes, but Sam never liked the way dad spoke to me. I always told him not to worry but he would only cry more because he knew that it was something to be worried about. I miss Sam.

I might call Cas to talk about when he can come round, or I might go to his house. Mainly because my house is a depressing, dark shack but it's only high school so why worry too much. I whip out my phone from my pocket and I have my finger hovering over the dial button but something in my body is telling me not to. I think it's because I've had a crush on Cas for almost forever and I don't want to fuck it up. What the hell, I've fucked up pretty much every other aspect of my life so why start worrying now? I press the dial button and immediately regret my decision. Well, I've done it now so I put my phone to my ear. Every single ring is more painful than the last. When finally someone picks up.

"Hello, Castiel's phone." OH MY GOD, THIS ISN'T CAS SHIT SHIT SHIT. WHO THE FUCK IS THIS? DEAN, YOU CAN'T SWEAR TO A STRANGER FUCK.

"Ummm, hi, I'm Dean, sorry, is Castiel there?"

"Yeah, I'll just go and get him." She sounds like mom but I have no idea who the hell this person is. I think it'll be best if I don't ask.

I hear her knock on Cas' door and say there's someone on the phone for him.

"Hello?" He sounds confused. Shit, I shouldn't have called. This is just one big fucking fuck up. I hate myself so much right now.

"Hey, it's Dean. Just calling to talk about the days you can come over if that's ok?"

"Yeah, no, that's fine." Is it weird that I can hear the smile in his voice? Castiel seems like a very smiley person.

"So I can do all of these days but what would work particularly well for you."

"Well, Saturday isn't exactly perfect for me but I can do any of those days, I honestly don't mind."

"Ok, so would any days this week work for you or do you just wanna start this whole homework thing next week."

"Yeah, that would probably be better for me too. Was that it or..."

"no, that was it, thanks."

"Ok, bye Dean." He hangs up.

Is it ok that when he said my name like that, I found it so fuckin hot? I need my mind to shut the fuck up right now. Ok, fuck this I'm eating and then going to bed to put my thoughts of Castiel motherfucking Novak to rest because if he's going to be the only thing I think about then I may want to die because he is so fucking pretty. I sound like such a fanboy right now.

~~~~

In bed, staring into the black nothingness again. I can't sleep. Usually, sleep isn't that bad for me, but at the moment it hasn't exactly been a walk in the park for me. Maybe it's Cas that's doing this to me. Jesus, I hope it's not because I like to sleep. I wonder who picked up his phone. I mean I'm pretty sure it's his mom but I could've been his sister. Does he even have a sister? It is really starting to irritate me that all I seem to want to do at the moment is just listen to Cas talk about his day and his life and I just want to know everything. Am I obsessed? Probably. I think it's a little weird because I don't know him anymore. I think that's another reason why I am obsessing is because he doesn't even fucking remember me. Maybe I've just always been insignificant to everyone ever. Sounds about right. That's probably why he doesn't remember me, because I'm irrelevant, boring, ugly and I could go on but I don't want to think about how shitty I am tonight, right now. It's weird, I think I might go to bed relatively hate free tonight.