Beyond Her Exterior

Chapter 6: Panic Attacks

Since when was he nice?

"You gotta tell me if you want me to fix it." He mumbles softly as his hand rubbed my back, making me calm down a bit.

"P-panic Attack." I hiccuped. He pulled back a bit, and observed my face. Before I could reply his hand reached up to my cheek and he was wiping away my tears. His other hand grabbed ahold of mine, and held it with his.

My body slowly stopped shaking, and my breathing started to go back to normal. I didn't shift my eyes off of him the entire time, and neither did he. When my panic attack ended he dropped his hand from my cheek, and pulled me along with him. "Let's go sit somewhere." He said.

I followed him to wherever it was we were going. I didn't know Grayson Parker that well and after that day at lunch I hated him and Gabe. I may still hate Gabe, but I don't hate Grayson. Afterall, he did just help me... in some strange way.

"Where are we going?" I said my voice barely above a whisper.

"The roof." He said as his eyes looked at me for a moment, before he looked away and opened up a door that said "No students allowed."

"We aren't allowed up here." I told him as I made him stop.

"Actually I think it means, Yes students allowed. Now come on Alexis." He replied.

Again, I followed him up onto the roof. He took me over to the other side of the roof where two chairs were. I sat down in one of them and he sat down in the other. It was quiet for a bit, I didn't know what to say and neither did he. But finally he spoke, "So why did you have a panic attack?" He asked.

I sat there silent. "I don't know." I muttered as I looked off into the distance. It was pretty, I could admit that.

"Well there has to be a reason behind it, what got you scared? I've never seen you of all people sad. You live the perfect life, what's there to be upset about?" Grayson asks.

If only that were true.

"Can you stop saying that already?" I muttered.

"Saying what? That you live the perfect life, I'm not lying you know."

I sighed, as I bit my bottom lip. "You don't know anything about me to sit here and tell me what I am."

He opened his mouth and closed it a few times, "What's that even supposed to mean?" He said furrowing his eyebrows.

I stood up from the chair, and turned away - my back facing him. "Nothing." I whispered, as I started walking away. "Absolutely nothing."

I started heading to the door of the roof when I heard Grayson reply, "What? You confuse me, Deaken wait up."

I rolled my eyes. He can't just leave me alone can't he? "Parker, leave me alone." I stammered.

"I'm just trying to see if you're fine to go back to classes." Grayson said. "But first I need to know who the person was that upset you."

I scowled as I turned to face him. "How did you just assume it was somebody? I never told you it was someone."

"Well, I just had a feeling it was someone. So give me a name so I can punch their face in." He told me, a small smile starting to form at his lips.

I shook my head, "If I need someone to get punched I can easily ask Dean, Caleb, Austin, or Brett. I'd probably go with Dean though because the other three can't fight, I'd know that because I've kicked their asses a few times.. and now I'm rambling..I need to see the nurse. Bye."

I pushed open the door to the roof, and stepped into the hallway of the school. It was empty. Luck is on my side. I walked away from the door and headed to the nurses office. "Not so fast, I don't care about your friends and what they could possibly do to this person. I want to know who this person is, so I can handle it."

I sighed. "Ever thought that I didn't want you to? It wasn't even his fault that much. He just wanted to cheat off my test and I said no which made him grab my wrist. Next thing I know Gavin was tightening his hold on me and then blank, I freak. Now if you'll excuse me."

"Gavin? Gavin! I know exactly who you're talking about. See ya later Lexis... I have some business to take care of." He said as he walked right by me, quickly I grip his hoodie pulling him to a halt.

"No violence, please." I beg him. He stares at my face for about a minute, not saying a thing. I didn't know what to do so I just stared back. His stare was intense, it was like he was trying to think if he should or if shouldn't.

Finally coming to his senses, he coughs awkwardly, "Fine, I'll have a talk with him. But the minute he says something I don't like.. he's done."

I smiled, this time it was an actual smile. It was different than I normally smile. This time it actually reached my eyes without it looking forced. "How come you're doing this for me? I thought you made it clear you didn't like me?"

Grayson shrugged looking away from me, "I just think whatever upsetted you of all people must have been bad. You don't cry like that, nor do you have panic attacks like that from what I know. I don't know much about you but I know enough to comprehend that you don't just cry for no reason. Whatever made you get a panic attack must have been bad. Which is why I'm going to handle him so he doesn't do it again."

If my smile could get any bigger, I think it would have. Grayson's back was turned from me, as he stared off somewhere else. So before he walked away I wrapped my arms around him from behind and rest my head on his back. "Thank you." I said, "I don't like violence...but I'll make an exception if Gavin does something to piss you off and you use self defense." I felt him tense underneath me, and I took that as my time to let go of him before he finds my gesture weird.

He coughed awkwardly again. "Yeah, well the nurse's office is waiting for you."

•••••

I left the nurses's office after being in there for about forty minutes. It was lunch time now, so I headed in and went straight to the table I normally sit at and waited for my friends.

I sat down and rested my head on the table, I took a short nap in the nurse's office but she woke me up and let me eat lunch before lunch even started. She was planning on sending me home but when she called, Tim answered and told her that I have to stay in school. She said he said something about 'she won't get a job if she don't go to school! keep her there'

When she let me talk to him, all he did was tell me that I was probably being a 'bullshit liar' and I didn't actually have a panic attack.

"Alexis." I heard someone say as they nudged my side. "Alexis." They repeated, the nudging still going on. I kept my head down, and my eyes closed hoping they would go away. "Alexis!" The person said raising their voice, and letting out a sigh, whoever it was I can tell they were becoming agitated.

I lifted up my head coming face to face with Austin, "Hm?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"What's going on? You missed class." He said.

"I was at the nurse." I replied, turning away from him. Austin sat down beside me and started eating his lunch. Everyone else started coming to the table also.

I didn't say much just gave my usual smiles, as they took their seats.