Beyond Her Exterior

Chapter 6: Panic Attacks

I sat in my English class trying to ignore someone speaking to me. We were taking a quiz and I'm sure someone was dying to cheat off of my paper. I don't like cheaters, nobody will be cheating off me. Especially since I'm probably gonna fail this since I've been just guessing which letter to bubble in for each question.

"Alexis." I heard the same nagging voice. "Lexi." He repeated. I sighed, turning further in my seat away from him and finished up my test.

As soon as I was done I stood up to bring it up, just as I was about to walk to the teacher's desk the same boy gripped my wrist making me flinch. I turned toward the boy who looked like he was begging. I sighed, "I don't like cheaters." I mumble.

"Please." He pouted. "I'll do anything you want."

I shook my head, and tried to pry my wrist from his grip but he didn't let go. If anything he held on harder.

Suddenly flashbacks of Tim clutter my memory. The day's where he would dig his filthy nails into my skin when he forced me to go somewhere. The tight grip he would have my wrist and the pain it would cause.

I didn't know I was crying until I felt water dripping from my face. I quickly took my other hand and started wiping away the tears that were spilling out of my eyes. The boy must have noticed me crying because he let go of my arm, and looked at me with sympathy. I grabbed my belongings and rushed to the teacher's desk. Throwing my test on the top stack I covered the side of my face with my hair and left before more people noticed I was crying.

When I got to the hallway, I started pacing back and forth trying to breathe.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

I kept reminding myself.

Everything is fine.

It didn't work. I felt like my lungs were giving up. I walked down the hallway to go to the nurse before I had a panic attack. My entire body was trembling in fear.

I paused from my walking when my eyesight started becoming blurry and I couldn't understand my surroundings too well. I started hyperventilating more, and my chest hurt badly.

My hands landed on a locker and I slid down it, sitting on the floor. I put my hand to my chest as I kept crying. My body shook erratically, as I closed my eyes.

I started hearing footsteps nearing me and I panicked even more causing my panic attack to become worse by the second. Nobody can see me like this. I stood up as fast as I could and started walking down the hallway as I wiped my eyes over and over. My body was sweating, and I was in pain.

I didn't know what to do. The last time I had a full blown panic attack was when I was with my mom.

As I turned the corner, I came face to face with Grayson Parker. I stopped and looked at him. He stared back at me, confused. My breathing slowed down, and I turned away from him and tried to run. But he didn't let me, he grabbed me by my waist and made me turn toward him.

"Sunshine girl, you crying?" He smirked as if this was funny.

I looked away from him, but I soon regretted it when I could have sworn I saw Tim inside this very building. It was like he looked right at me, I backed away.. "No, no, no. Go away." I said holding my hands up as I looked down the other hallway.

Flashbacks came back again to the day he tried to stick one of his needles into my arm. I couldn't breathe once again, and I felt like I was dying. "Are you okay?" I faintly heard Grayson say as he stepped in front of me.

I shook my head as my whole body shook in fear. My body started becoming weaker and I felt myself slowly start falling to the floor. Grayson was quick to grab me and pull me to him, keeping me up. "Come here." He said as his arms wrapped around me. "What's going on?" He whispers.