All the Way to Heaven

Chapter 37

"He asked me to come and speak to her, to vouch for him while they made their plans in secret behind their parents' backs, but I refused. I believed he should take responsibility for his actions, that he must go to Bettina's father and ask forgiveness, then honor whatever the man demanded of him. I told him if he thought he was mature enough to love and provide for a wife and a child, that he should be mature enough to do it the right way, the honorable way."

Paulo gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. "In principle, perhaps it was the right thing to do. But to make a long story short, in Italy, abortion is legal for only the first ninety days. Bettina panicked, and without Rom's knowledge, her friends took her to an abortion clinic. He went to visit her two weeks ago, but she refused to see him. He would not accept that it was Bettina's choice to stay away, that is was her father who kept her from him, and he began loitering near her home, hoping to catch her alone."

He forced his fingers open and closed, open and closed. "One of his friends finally contacted me, asking me to help, so I went down to Siena to bring him home. But it was too late."

He turned to look at me then, and I was dismayed to see tears shining in his eyes, the same look of despair I'd seen on the train masking his face. "Bettina's father caught Rom breaking into the house the night before I arrived. Rom claimed he only wanted to talk to the girl, to beg her to run away with him, but he had a gun with him. A gun, Ani. He is now in jail and in a lot more trouble than he ever imagined. I was granted permission to see him briefly last Monday, then I went to speak to Bettina's father Tuesday morning, hoping to soften his heart even just a little. But the man is insisting he will press any charges he can against Rom, and that could mean he will be in jail for a very long time."

"And that's why you looked so beat up on the train." I ached for him and was more than a little ashamed of my unkind thoughts toward him that day. I squeezed his hand sympathetically. "I'm sorry I made it about me that day. I seem to do that a lot, especially where you're concerned."

"It is fine, Ani. It was not your trouble to deal with." I frowned at his response, feeling somehow shut out of his pain because it wasn't my problem.

"But why is this your burden to deal with, Paulo? Doesn't Rom have any family?" I couldn't fully understand what drove him to take on such a mantle. Yes, his father, a man among men, had left him a legacy of honor and all that, but this seemed above and beyond the call of duty.

"His mother remarried a few years ago. Rom didn't get along with his stepfather, so when he was eighteen, he moved in with his sister who lives in Lucca, just until he finished school. His mother does not return my phone calls and his sister is overwhelmed by all of this."

"His father?" I was almost afraid to ask.

"He, too, is in jail. In Rome."

"Oh. Wow." What on earth could I say? It was so apparent Paulo was heartbroken over the situation. Before I could come up with any inane words, he swerved off the road onto a gravel shoulder. I straightened a little, looking around, wondering where we were.

Paulo turned off the engine then reached over and took my hand again, looking imploringly at me. "Listen to me, Ani. I am not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me, or even for Rom. This world is full of hurting people, but I am only one man. I cannot help everyone and I know that. All I can do is help the one put in front of me, yes? And even when I do try to help, I will make mistakes, like with Rom." He brushed his thumb over my knuckles, sending delicate tremors up my spine. "There is little I can do for him now, Ani. I know that. Much of it is because of his own choices, yes, but I wonder how things might have been different had I shown mercy and not judgment."

I didn't know what to say, how to ease his suffering. I squeezed his hand encouragingly.

"The only thing I can do now is pray he is put in the path of someone else who will help him."

"Right." I thought that was a very sensible way to look at it.

"And I must reach out to the next person in my own path."

"Yes. Absolutely."

"Ani, you were put in my path, and even though I turned away at the beginning, I am glad I had a second chance with you." He angled his head so he could look more directly in my eyes, his shining with sincerity. "I am sorry for the way I treated you on the train. Please forgive me."

"Paulo, good grief!" I interrupted. "You had a lot on your plate at that moment. I was fine. And you did help me, remember? At the station you stayed and made sure I was safe." I couldn't believe he was apologizing to me!

His eyes softened. "I am glad for today. I want to show you that I am not that angry man. Yes, it was a very difficult day, but it was only my reaction to the day's circumstances, not my normal personality. I am," he said in an exaggerated American accent, "in fact, a very funny guy."

"So you say," I hemmed, cocking my head to the side, relieved to be heading back into clearer air space. "But from what I've seen, there isn't a funny bone in your body."

He released my hand and sat back, arms folded across his chest, eyeing me with mock reproach. I felt the absence of his touch all the way to my toes. "Then I will have to prove to you just how much fun I can be." He peered up in the direction of the sun through the oblong window behind us. "The day is still young. I have time."

I laughed out loud.

"Aha! It is working already!" He started the truck again, threw it into gear, and stepped on the gas, thrusting us back onto the road in a short lull between passing cars. Gravel pinged up against the undercarriage, and looking over my shoulder, I whistled appreciatively at the cloud of dust we left in our wake.

"Okay. Look ahead of us now, Ani. Do you see the water on my side? That is the Fiume Serchio. It is the third longest river in Italy starting in Monte Silano to the north of us and flowing all the way to the sea at Pisa for about 75 or 80 miles, I think."

I nodded enthusiastically, a bit startled to see the massive waterway. I hadn't even noticed it while Paulo was talking.

"This is one of my favorite drives around Lucca because this road first follows the course of the Serchio, then in Chifenti, just up ahead, the road branches off to follow the Torrentio Lima, my favorite river here in Italy. Of course, I have not seen many outside of Lucca, but the Lima satisfies me deeply, and I do not have the desire to look for another favorite."

I glanced at him, curious at his choice of words, at the sentiment behind them. "Are you like that by nature?" I asked. "I mean, are you one of those all or nothing kind of guys?"

He grinned, a little self-conscious, I thought. "Perhaps I can be very focused once I have set my mind to something."

I thought of the lengths to which he'd gone to convince me to speak with Cristofano. "Hmm. I think some might use the word stubborn instead."

He laughed out loud, then shrugged. "Perhaps I am stubborn then. When I see a problem, I look for ways to solve it. When I know something is worth fighting for, I will fight for it, even against the odds. I think that is why the situation with Rom has been so difficult for me. I do not want to give up the fight, but at some point, I must let him live with the consequences of his actions. I cannot always rescue him... and yet I want to with everything that is in me." At first, he was almost self-deprecating, but as he continued, he grew more insistent.

"Wow," I said, crossing my arms like a shield against the onslaught of his passion. "Yeah. I think I'd put you in the all or nothing category then."

"And when I believe something is right, Ani, Igo after it." He turned his head and met my gaze, something in his eyesbringing heat to my face. "I am not an impulsive person, but when I know here,"he knocked a fist against his chest. "I can be very determined."